Day Three

Well, today was a free day with no guides. I'm not a fan and personally, I'd rather have the guides with me. Here are a few stories that I haven't written about yet because my posts have already been a mile long! This one proves to be no exception, so grab your cup of coffee and sit back and enjoy.

I received a wonderful gift on Gotcha Day from the nanny. She had made a beautiful scrapbook of L's life! The pictures didn't go all the way back to her infancy, but they went probably as far back as the time I sent my care package. I have pictures of the room where she slept, the crib, the playrooms, the classroom, the bath, some nannies, so much! It is a beautiful gift and I nearly lost it when I flipped through it. What a treasure to have! It is clearly one of those things I'd grab if my house were ever on fire.

I did get a copy of L's Finding Ad. A Finding Ad (for those of you outside the adoption world) is a newspaper classified ad that has the child's picture and a very brief story & description that gets published right after a child is found. It serves as a way of trying to make sure the child doesn't have any family actively looking for them or able to care for them. It is another small treasure to have that very first picture (oh, did she have hair in that picture!).

After Gotcha Day, we had to run to a couple stores for supplies for L. The first stop was a baby supply store. On the walk there, we passed by a BMW dealership. L really seemed to love the brand new BMW's. Good taste, sweet girl. Good taste!

There are a lot of Volkswagens driven around here. It seems to be the car of choice. The driving is insane! Cars, busses, mopeds, bikes, pedestrians, nobody has the right of way. It's a free-for-all out there! And they do drive on the right side of the road like we do. That surprised me.

For the most part, we are well received. I think. I get lots of looks. A LOT!!! A couple of men passing by have given me HUGE smiles, as did an old, wrinkled, gray haired yet beautiful lady. I'll never forget those smiles. Those mean the world to me. I want to hug them and say thank you and tell them that a part of my heart will always be in China as we raise one of China's daughters. Instead, I just flash them an equally big smile and nod my head and walk on by.

On our first trip to Walmart with the tour guide though, a young store employee shouted something out as I walked past. My tour guide immediately gave her a look I'll never forget. That employee clearly had something against me, my country, the adoption, L's special needs, something. Ever since then, I've been a little leery to go out in public, especially alone. That look spoke volumes!

I've seen a few little smiles from L so far. They are little, but they are there. I haven't heard her laugh yet, but that will come. And she is very quiet so far and doesn't talk much, even to my guides.

She loves the photo album I made for her and sent in my care package. When you think about it, that album was probably the only thing that was truly hers in the orphanage. And her favorite pictures in the album? Her guh-guhs -- big brothers! She'll say guh-guh over and over again. It's so cute and it makes me want to jump on a plane right now and get her home to meet her big brothers!

L also loves oranges! I had one in my carry-on bag that I never ate on my flight over here. Well, it's probably L's favorite fruit! Even at breakfast I made some toast and the only jam they had at the buffet was marmalade and L proceeded to lick all the marmalade off and not eat the toast. Silly girl! But I'll miss staying at the R Ranch where the orange trees were plentiful. My daughter would have loved it! (Miss you TONS, R Family!!!)

She has big feet. The 18 month pajamas fit her nicely, but the footie part is quite tight. What I brought for her here will do just fine for the remaining 7 nights we have here, but I'll be quick to get the 2T jammies out of the drawer when we get home. I don't know why I didn't pack 2 sizes of jammies when I packed her 2 sizes of clothes. I do think she likes the lightweight footie pjs though, especially the zebra stripe pair! She likes to look at herself in the mirror when she's wearing them.

She is very easy and seemingly laid back. A perfect match for our family and my laid back boys. God knew exactly what He was doing when He matched her with us!

Sleep was a little harder last night. She cried and cried and didn't want me to hold her. She arched her back and kicked her legs and tried to get away. A couple of times I'd set her down and actually let her get away and she'd only wail even harder, so I'd scoop her up, rock her and walk with her and repeat "mama," "baba" (dada in Mandarin), and "guh-guh," over and over again - my way of saying "you have a family that loves you and you will never be alone."

She still fears the bath. I took one tonight so she could see me in there and know it was safe. Well, she wailed and started banging her head on the bathroom door. Even the beach ball I had with me didn't seem to help much. She'll come around, but in the next day or so, she'll need a good bath, so you can pray for that. She really doesn't like me changing her diaper or clothes either. I can see in her eyes that she's sad and misses her nannies who cared for her daily needs. The look on her face says, "mom, you're doing it wrong!" Poor girl. So much adjustment for her!

But she's really doing great!

I'll leave you with one last thought... On Adoption Day I still had to answer a few questions from the young, beautiful adoption secretary before all my signatures were notarized. The last question I was asked was, "Do you promise to take care of this girl forever and never abandon her." My eyes welled with tears and I held back a sob that had lumped in my throat. I said, "I promise. Of course I promise." what immediately became new to me was the Bible verse, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." that verse that I've known since I was a child became completely real to me in that moment. And even though times are tough for our family right now with a house closing, a relocation coming, and a new daughter added on the other side of the globe, I fully know that God has not left us to fend for ourselves. Just like I promised my new daughter, God will NEVER leave you nor forsake you.

Amen.

First day with smiles!

She's not ready to sit and read books yet.

Smiles after a bath and lotion.  She loves baby lotion!

Happy Adoption Day!

The reason my posts have been few is because we've been running non-stop since Monday when I met my daughter. Tuesday morning was Adoption Day!

We had a 9:00am appointment, so that meant I set my alarm for 6:30am, allowing me time to shower and dress before Hu Jing woke up. The jet lag thing has thrown me for a loop this time on this side of the International Dateline and i was actually up at 2am and I forced myself to stay in bed and rest until 6:30. Hu Jing started stirring and I got her up around 7:00. I dressed her in a 2T outfit my mom had bought, but the pants fell right off of her! So, into an 18 months size pair of leggings, a t-shirt and yes, the required sweater. She's going to be in this sweater for the week because it's the only one I brought. Again, a sweater in 90 degree heat seems insane, but when in China...

We has breakfast at the hotel. My girl is a noodle girl! She loves them and i can always enjoy some panfried noodles & vegetables for breakfast as well. My guides arrived, as did our driver and we hopped back into the van for the return trip to the adoption office. This time they were ready for us and the door was open and to my surprise, the nanny from the orphanage was there again! There was much talk in Mandarin about the cough that Hu Jing has. I noticed it on Gotcha Day and it had gotten worse overnight.

I signed more papers. I have never signed my husband's name more times before in our marital life! Then I had to put a blue ink thumbprint on all the signatures. When it was Hu Jing's turn to place a blue footprint on a few pages, she once again screamed and screamed and screamed. You'd think we were at the doctor's office getting shots or something! After a few minutes, we got the "red folder" of all the official adoption documents and our daughter officially became a Collins!

Sorry blog-land, my secret agent sons have given Hu Jing the status of Agent-in-Training and we will not divulge her new identity unless you have received clearance from us in triplicate (or become friends with us on Facebook). For now, you may call her Hu Jing, Quiet Tiger or L. Three choices. Take your pick. :)

After the adoption paperwork was done, signed, sealed and delivered, my tour guide rushed me through a city block or so to a pharmacy for some herbal remedy for L's cough and cold. Seems we were in a time crunch because we ran the whole way - me in heels (I put on a skirt and nice top and heels for the adoption appointment), and carrying a coughing, sweaty toddler. That was fun. But I'd appreciate prayers for the medicine to help L's cold go away. I have no idea what I'm giving her, but the guides insist she needs it. Again, when in China...

So, we ran back around the block to the van waiting to take us to the police station. Yep, I can officially say I've been to a police station in China. Yikes! Nah, we were just there to apply for L's China passport. Once again, she screamed like mad when they wanted to take her picture. I'm guessing they didn't get a very good shot.

After that it was back to the hotel. L was super tired even though it was quite early for a nap. I was told how to mix the medicine for her cough and the tour guide told me to turn the air conditioning off in the hotel room. I did so reluctantly and only temporarily.

L nearly fell asleep on my shoulder but we went to the lobby to Skype with daddy back in the US. We talked for a while and L enjoyed seeing her baba (dada in Mandarin) for the very first time. I know Jay must be going crazy not seeing his little girl!

Then it was back upstairs to try and feed her some lunch, but she wasn't interested. Instead, I just walked around the little room until she fell asleep on my shoulder (her preferred method of sleeping with me). I tried laying her I the crib but she stirred and cried. So i scooped her up again and laid her in bed with me. Here's today's picture of a sleeping baby L by the light of CNN, the only English TV I get. I typed this entry on my Notepad as she slept and she stirred once, looked up at me and then went back to sleep without a peep. Sweet girl!

Tonight we will venture out for dinner. My guides are off tonight and tomorrow, so I'll probably play it safe and head to KFC for some chicken, mashed potatoes and biscuits. Hopefully we can communicate with sign language to get some dinner to go. The language barrier is tough. We'll have to try my Moby Wrap tonight. L loves to be carried, so I'm glad I brought it. I may not even venture to Walmart for a stroller if she likes the wrap.

Napping in mama's bed.  She refused the crib.

Up from her nap and eating Goldfish crackers in mama's bed.

Happy Gotcha Day!

I know, I know. You've all been on the edge of your seats waiting for an update. My sincere apologies! This is tough business when traveling alone and we've been running non-stop since I arrived. And to top it off, I can't get the wifi running in my room with the airport express. Seems I need to update the iPad before the express will work and updating the iPad takes a computer which I do not have. If you know how to update your iPad on a different computer, tell me how here and I'll see if I can track down some American college kids who I saw this morning and see if I can borrow a laptop to run a quick iPad update.

Now for the details on yesterday's Gotcha Day! Monday afternoon...

I was supposed to be down in the hotel lobby at 2pm to meet my adoption coordinator and my tour guide, but I was pacing in the room upstairs by myself and I couldn't take it anymore. I went down 20 minutes early and they were there early too, just waiting for our driver. When he arrived at 2pm, we loaded up and drove maybe 7 or 8 minutes away to the adoption office.

Gotcha Day was totally different than what I thought it would be. I thought we'd enter an office, sit down and then Hu Jing would be brought into me and i'd get to play with her for a long while. Nope. We entered the building, took the elevator to the 5th floor and I was absolutely shocked to see her there ahead of us, waiting in the hallway with a nanny from the orphanage!

She was wearing leopard print heavy knit pants and a warm red hooded sweatshirt. In China, they believe in dressing kids warm, even in 90 degree weather! How they don't have more cases of heatstroke, I'll never know! her head was pretty freshly shaved which makes her look quite a bit like a boy, but she really looked quite like the last pictures I received of her way back in October!

I really was dumbfounded that I was finally in the presence of my daughter! I didn't cry, I didn't run over to her and scoop her up. I just got down on my knees and talked to her. My tour guide gave me some snacks I could give to her and Hu Jing took them from me, pretty fearlessly. I almost cried when her hand touched mine for the very first time, but there's just something engrained in me about "saving face" and not showing emotion from my year in Japan. The Chinese share the same practice. Besides, I think a crying, hysterical new mommy might frighten the poor girl, so I held back the joyous tears.

We waited for the adoption secretary to open the office for maybe 5 minutes and then she arrived and allowed us inside. Then it was a flurry of temporary custody paperwork, and I mean a flurry! I honestly didn't get to spend much time with Hu Jing, but I observed her from the corner of my eye as she walked around the room while signed paperwork in triplicate.

At one point, Hu Jing had climbed into a desk chair and began rocking herself back and forth, a self-soothing technique. She later did the same thing, banging her head against the office door after her beloved nanny left.

There is more to tell, but I know you want pictures more than anything. Just know that my sweet girl HATES the camera! She screams bloody murder at the sight of one. Flash or no flash, she dislikes the camera with a passion I have never seen before! So, pix from Gotcha Day are few. No use traumatizing my daughter any further when her world just turned completely upside-down!

Playing with the shoes she was wearing when we met.  Sadly, they were too small for her feet.

The photo album is her security blanket.  She carries it everywhere.

The nanny from the orphanage who took the 12 hour train ride from Yulin to  Xi'an with my daughter.

While I was signing paperwork, she climbed into the chair and began rocking back and forth.

Hello from Xi'an!

My travels to China followed our entire adoption journey to the T, and by that I mean delays and drama! My flight out of San Francisco was delayed 4 hours. My 4 hour delay meant I wouldn't make my connecting flight into Xi'an. While I waited, United booked me on another connecting flight. No big deal, right?

Wrong! We made up an hours time on our flight to Beijing, which meant that United rebooked me yet again on a different connecting flight into Xi'an. So, I exited the plane, saw a United rep standing outside holding my name up, she told me I was rebooked and that I had to RUN in order to make the connection in only 35 minutes.

The details that unfolded are a good story, but I'll have to save those for later. All I will say is that I made it through customs, picked up my bag, re-checked it, took the train to another terminal, made it through security (downing the last half bottle of good ol' American tap water), and ran to my gate and made it in time. I was one sweaty, shaky mess, but I made it.

There's even more drama after that when I arrived in Xi'an and my guide wasn't there, but again, that will wait for later. I checked into my hotel around 1am local time and tried to sleep. A morning text from my boys at home woke me up, so I unpacked, showered, assembled gift bags, and just had the complimentary breakfast at the hotel. I'm having wifi issues in the room and I'm thinking of waiting for my guide this afternoon for help because the language barrier is a difficulty when talking tech talk. For now, the lobby will work just fine.

I promise I'll post more when time allows. Please, please pray we can get the wifi up and running in the room. I may need to configure the airport express we just bought but I need to find a computer to acco plish that task. Hopefully they have a computer in the business office that I can use and see if that solves the problem. I haven't talked to my boys since I left SFO and I really hate the idea of not being able to hear their voices for a whole week until I get to Guangzhou on Sunday.

I will leave you with this... Today is what we call Gotcha Day in the adoption world. In just about 5 hours I will be driven by van to the city office where I will meet Hu Jing and take custody of her! This is the moment we've been waiting 3 years for and it's actually happening! I'm trying my best to "save face" as they do in China and not be an emotional wreck about it, but I am so excited I feel like my heart is going to burst!

Happy Gotcha Day, Hu Jing!

To my boys at home: I miss you so much! I'm so sorry the iPad won't work in the room and I can't call you. I miss hearing your voices! Take care of each other and I'll see you in 10 more days! I love you!

Off I Go!

I spent the night last night with an old friend from high school. She took me to the bank so I could get cash for my trip, we had dinner and we spent a few hours catching up. It was a relaxing way to spend my last night in the US. Thanks, ML! Thank you so much! I would have been nervous and stressed in a hotel alone with this trip ahead of me.

Now I've made it through security and I'm perched at the gate, ready to go. I'm flying United and so far I've been treated nicely. The flight will be 12 hours to Beijing and then I'll have a 3 hour layover until my 2 hour connecting flight into Xi'an. I covet your prayers for making it through customs and making my connection! I'll arrive in my daughter's province at 8:30pm Sunday night, local China time.

I've talked to my boys and said my teary goodbyes. Please pray for their health and safety while I'm gone. I've never been away from them for more than a couple nights.

To my boys at home: I love you more than you'll ever know and I miss you like crazy. See you in a couple weeks!

I should be boarding in the next 30 minutes. I'll post from the other side of the globe!

24 Hours

I'm in San Francisco and in 24 hours I will be on a plane for Beijing, with a connection to Xi'an, Shaanxi China! Oddly enough, my brother is leaving on a flight to Russia for work today, so a couple Martini kids are flying across the globe. Look out, world!

Words are few. I'm excited, nervous, stressed and worried. I'd appreciate prayers for safe travel, on-time flights, easy connections, no lost luggage, all those travel mercies. You could double those prayers for my brother too, please! :)

I'd also appreciate prayers for my husband and boys back home. Pray for their health and safety while I'm away. Pray that we can Skype easily (my iPad 1 will only do the audio call, not video, but I guess it's better than nothing). Pray for the boys to have fun with dad and grandpa when I'm gone.

Pray for all the obvious adoption details, that no paperwork is lost, that bonding goes well, that our Quiet Tiger and I stay healthy and that traveling with an almost 2 year old is as easy as possible. Pray that I'd connect with other adopting families, especially those with whom I've connected online.

I'm typing this from my iPad, so yes, I'll be blogging from China. And I should be able to upload a picture or two each day as well. I won't be able to adjust picture sizes, so bear with that, but you'll be able to follow my journey. After all, you'll only be interested in the pictures anyway.

I may post tomorrow as I'm waiting for my outbound flight but if I don't, you'll hear from me in China after I get some sleep. Hoping the trick of staying awake the entire flight will ease me into the China timezone. Worked for Flying to Japan in college, but I'm not that young anymore. Thanks for following me all these years and thanks for your prayers!

To my guys at home, Jaybird and Agents C and E, I miss you already and I love you more than you know.

Testing

Oh, please tell me this will work! I'm playing with Blogger trying to figure out how to blog and update pix from China next week. Bear with me as I play around with this post. ;)

What I'm doing is typing my blog post in Safari. Then I'm using the Blogger app to upload pix. Please work, please work, please work!

Turns out I won't be able to control the picture sizes, but for the most part, you'll get your updates. Oh, I wish I had a laptop!

Prepare

1065 days ago we began our adoption journey.  We lost our Nepal adoption and our China adoption has taken twice as long than estimated.  But ten days from now, I'll be sitting at the airport in San Francisco waiting to board a plane bound for China!  Excitement builds as does fear and stress.

While I love details and tend to do well with mild uncertainty and minor chaos, my plate is overly full these days.  Not to sound like a bad 80's phrase, but I'm stressed to the max!  In the coming days, there is much to prepare for.  Would you please pray that God prepares us and shows up for us every single step of the way (even in ways not listed below)?

Prepare Us:

• Prepare our hearts for the daughter He designed for us - Hu Jing, our Quiet Tiger!!!
• Prepare our finances for our travel and in-country fees and unexpected fees that may spring up along the journey
• Prepare me to meet the people of China and extend them love
• Prepare me for the moment I meet our daughter and take her in my arms
• Prepare me for bonding with our daughter
• Prepare our home where we will return (Jay and the boys will be here in the States and I fly to China alone).
• Prepare Jay for the moment he lays eyes on his daughter when we arrive back home
• Prepare Jay for bonding with his daughter
• Prepare us for comments and questions (both positive and negative) about our adoption and Hu Jing's special needs
• Prepare us to teach our daughter about Jesus
• Prepare us to raise Hu Jing to be the woman He intends her to be

Prepare our Boys:

• Prepare them for a new addition to the family
• Prepare them for my absence while I'm in China -- this is the longest I've ever been apart from my boys
• Prepare them for possible hard times as we bond and adjust once we are home
• Prepare them for the happy times and the privilege of having Hu Jing in our family
• Prepare them to be the best big brothers ever

Prepare our Daughter:

• Prepare her for a major life change
• Prepare for her journey to the Capitol of her province where I will meet her (this will most likely be a 12 hour train ride for her with a nanny from the orphanage - ugh!)
• Prepare her head and heart for the moment she will meet me and the bonding that will happen from that moment on - she is bound to be so confused and scared, angry and sad
• Prepare her for cars, trains, hotels, busses, airplanes - this will all be new to her
• Prepare her for adjustment to our family, even our dogs
• Prepare her for The Word and a lifetime (hopefully) of following Jesus
• Prepare her for an amazing impact on the world around her, through her story of adoption

More prayer requests will be updated as we get closer.  Thanks for joining us on this journey.  I am astounded that this is actually happening -- FINALLY!

Showered!

Yesterday, my wonderful friends threw me a shower!  I'm seriously humbled, grateful and honored.  Thanks, ladies!  Words can't express how thankful I am for each and every one of you who came.

Oh, the joy of opening all things pink!  GIRL STUFF!!!  Enjoy a few pictures.  I'm still a bit overwhelmed by the generosity, so words are few.  But thank you one and all for blessing me, my daughter and our family!

The hostesses.  KD, me and JL.

I LOVED the decor that J came up with!  These hung in her living room.

Kitchen decor

K made the entire spread.  YUM!!!

Loving all the PINK!  Notice the bamboo table runner.  J thought of everything!

Me and my dear friend CR.

Shower guests.  CT with 4 week old baby boy C, LM, CD, KD (hostess), me, KR with daughter "Big E," and CR.  Missing are 2 friends who had to leave early, EG and SG, but I'm thankful they came for a part of it.

Same group but this time, hostess JL is in the picture!

My friend KR and her daughter E drove HOURS to make it!  She and I go way back to preschool in Barrington together.  Absolutely honored that she'd make the trip.  Love you, K!  So thankful we're still friends after all these years!

Jay came by after the shower was over and he hit it off with E!  Jay is ready for his little girl!

TA!!!

Praise God!!!  Oh.  My.  Gosh.  We're going to China!  Yesterday we received our Travel Approval.

I will hold my daughter in my very own arms and look into her gorgeous brown eyes and hold her beautiful hands soon!  Our agency has requested all the appointments (in-province appointments to complete the adoption as well as US Embassy appointments to complete her citizenship).  Please pray we get the dates we requested (May 25-June 12) or EARLIER!

There are so many things that need to happen in the next couple of weeks that it is absolutely, positively overwhelming.  I'm trying to rest in the fact that God has it all under control and knows exactly what He's doing, with our best interests in mind.  I'd also appreciate prayers for all the details, large and small, to come together perfectly, that we'd have peace, confidence and strength to make it through this.  Pray that we don't miss one single detail.

After 1 failed adoption and nearly 3 years of trying to bring a little girl into our family, I can honestly say that this feeling is very surreal and I can't believe this is actually happening!