I gained this last week.
No surprise there.
We had Jay's Summer Regional for work and while we both tried to be good that entire long weekend, it just wasn't possible. The company handed us huge gift bags filled with chips, pretzels, chocolate, candies, mints, etc. upon check in. Breakfast was included at the resort and I was sure to eat eggs, meat and fruit, but I know I ate way too much of it. Lunches were on our own every day and we'd head into town for pizza or something. Dinners were provided by the company and the food was quite good, but it was nearly impossible to keep away from the tasty carbs.
Workouts didn't happen either.
And we came home on Father's Day. I had planned a nice dinner of ribs, baked beans, corn on the cob, corn bread and peach cobbler. After 3 days away, we enjoyed one more big dinner. And then there were leftovers...
So, I put on 3-4 pounds.
Now that we're back home and back to eliminating bad carbs and back to exercising more regularly, I know those added pounds will come off.
I'm hoping for 10 pounds this month because we have my family reunion coming up at the end of July.
Oh, I need to mention that the rash I had on my arm is gone! Eating carbs eliminated the rash. My skin is still a little dark and discolored in that area and it does itch occasionally, but add carbs and the Keto rash goes away. So annoying!
Here's to a successful week, even though all I want to do is eat all the yummy stuff we ate over the Regional weekend.
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Monday, June 6, 2016
Makeover Monday -- Master Bedroom
Looking back, my May posts weren't too uplifting. Ugh. Heavy, ugly stuff. Not pretty. Now it's time for some fun.
I've completed our personalization of our master bedroom. I didn't include this in my "Fixer Upper series," because so far, this is just paint on the walls and ceiling and dressers. I haven't tackled the honey oak in this room yet.
I intended to use our Spring Break to get this done, but we took a long weekend to get away to Chicago and I came home with a miserable sinus cold that knocked me down for the remainder of the week. So, my goal was to get the bedroom painted during the month of April.
We chose Benjamin Moore's Silver Lining color, using Behr paints and a color match at Home Depot. The ceiling is the same Behr Ceiling White that I did in the kids' rooms.
But I couldn't stop there. You see, I had furniture -- honey oak furniture -- to paint too. Ugh.
In May, I started with my nightstand. That was easy to move to the deck for sanding, priming and painting. Jay's nightstand didn't come with the set and it was already painted black, so that was one thing I didn't need to worry about even though it really could use some touch-ups. Phew! I will admit though, I'm such a huge fan of Fixer Upper that I second guessed painting the furniture black. Joanna typically likes light or white furniture. I feared black dressers would be overwhelming in a small bedroom, but our Ikea bed was already black, so I felt it was the direction we had to go.
After painting the nightstand, we had a week full of rain. Every single day it rained. So, no chance of moving my dresser outside to paint. So, I lost a week and waited as patiently as I could. Can I say that I HATE living with piles of clothes not in their rightful place while dressers are being painted?!?! What a mess! And our bedrooms are NOT big in this house. No room for junk on the floors. Everything went to the guest room.
While Jay was on a short business trip, I was able to get his dresser done. That way he didn't have to be frustrated with all his clothes downstairs on our guest room bed during his regularly scheduled workweek. But it meant that I was desperate for good weather. Of course, we didn't get it. Rain for 2 days. So, I moved everything into the garage and parked my van in the driveway. And the finished dresser was way too heavy for the boys and I to move upstairs, so Jay and I did that together on Friday afternoon when he was back home.
A few resale shop finds, some decor from cheap ol' Walmart, and a mirror from Big Lots (seriously cheap mirrors there, people) and here we are today. Our room is put back together and looking better.
The wall color is much more blue than we expected. The paint card looked much more grey. It all depends on the lighting. But we like it. And it will look better once I tackle all that honey oak trim and doors to a bright white like my fireplace downstairs. I am itching to pull up the disgusting 20-year old carpet in our 3 upstairs bedrooms and have laminate installed! Both the master bathroom and kids' bathroom need paint too. I think I have the kids' bathroom color picked out but need to decide on the master bath color. Someone seriously please help me pick out a color there!
Now that we can have windows open more often, I'll likely get to all that honey oak and my Fixer Upper blog series. What will be first? Maybe a bathroom, maybe the kitchen. Not sure. Stay tuned. And send help! All this honey oak is bleeping overwhelming!
I've completed our personalization of our master bedroom. I didn't include this in my "Fixer Upper series," because so far, this is just paint on the walls and ceiling and dressers. I haven't tackled the honey oak in this room yet.
I intended to use our Spring Break to get this done, but we took a long weekend to get away to Chicago and I came home with a miserable sinus cold that knocked me down for the remainder of the week. So, my goal was to get the bedroom painted during the month of April.
We chose Benjamin Moore's Silver Lining color, using Behr paints and a color match at Home Depot. The ceiling is the same Behr Ceiling White that I did in the kids' rooms.
 |
| This is not our furniture. I realized that the only BEFORE picture I had was from when we were looking at the house while the owners were still living here (or at least in the process of moving). But still gives you an idea of the boring beige walls. And heck, even they had honey oak furniture! |
 |
| More photos from the previous owner. Just another angle of the room. Notice those crazy hooks on each wall by the bed? I still laugh at those and love that we could re-purpose them elsewhere. |
 |
| Benjamin Moore Silver Lining |
But I couldn't stop there. You see, I had furniture -- honey oak furniture -- to paint too. Ugh.
In May, I started with my nightstand. That was easy to move to the deck for sanding, priming and painting. Jay's nightstand didn't come with the set and it was already painted black, so that was one thing I didn't need to worry about even though it really could use some touch-ups. Phew! I will admit though, I'm such a huge fan of Fixer Upper that I second guessed painting the furniture black. Joanna typically likes light or white furniture. I feared black dressers would be overwhelming in a small bedroom, but our Ikea bed was already black, so I felt it was the direction we had to go.
 |
| My nightstand freshly painted against my freshly painted walls. |
After painting the nightstand, we had a week full of rain. Every single day it rained. So, no chance of moving my dresser outside to paint. So, I lost a week and waited as patiently as I could. Can I say that I HATE living with piles of clothes not in their rightful place while dressers are being painted?!?! What a mess! And our bedrooms are NOT big in this house. No room for junk on the floors. Everything went to the guest room.
 |
| My completed dresser. I need to buy a pair of new metal runners for the drawers because movers bent them and 2 drawers don't slide easily anymore. |
While Jay was on a short business trip, I was able to get his dresser done. That way he didn't have to be frustrated with all his clothes downstairs on our guest room bed during his regularly scheduled workweek. But it meant that I was desperate for good weather. Of course, we didn't get it. Rain for 2 days. So, I moved everything into the garage and parked my van in the driveway. And the finished dresser was way too heavy for the boys and I to move upstairs, so Jay and I did that together on Friday afternoon when he was back home.
 |
| Jay's completed dresser. |
A few resale shop finds, some decor from cheap ol' Walmart, and a mirror from Big Lots (seriously cheap mirrors there, people) and here we are today. Our room is put back together and looking better.
 |
| Done! Except for all the honey oak. |
 |
| So relaxing now that it's done and feels more like us. |
The wall color is much more blue than we expected. The paint card looked much more grey. It all depends on the lighting. But we like it. And it will look better once I tackle all that honey oak trim and doors to a bright white like my fireplace downstairs. I am itching to pull up the disgusting 20-year old carpet in our 3 upstairs bedrooms and have laminate installed! Both the master bathroom and kids' bathroom need paint too. I think I have the kids' bathroom color picked out but need to decide on the master bath color. Someone seriously please help me pick out a color there!
Now that we can have windows open more often, I'll likely get to all that honey oak and my Fixer Upper blog series. What will be first? Maybe a bathroom, maybe the kitchen. Not sure. Stay tuned. And send help! All this honey oak is bleeping overwhelming!
Monday, May 30, 2016
Year 4
Last Friday marked the 4 year anniversary of Quiet Tiger.
We were at the cabin, so this post couldn't go live until today,
because Wifi doesn't come easy in the woods.
because Wifi doesn't come easy in the woods.
We didn't celebrate the day. We didn't even mention the words "Gotcha Day."
No gifts, no special Chinese food meals, no cupcakes or fun desserts.
Sometimes the reminder of trauma just brings the ugly. And this year, we didn't want to bring it up.
Trust me, her brain remembered anyway.
Her behavior was all over the place all week long.
I realized that I never even posted a blog entry last year for her 3-Year-Gotcha-Day. I know I had one written, but we were moving and life was chaotic, and I must have deleted the draft. I also think I deleted it because it was a hard reality to swallow. It was a good post, a very clear look at our life with a child from a hard place. I wish I would have posted it. So.....Today I'm posting about the hard reality that was last year -- Year Three -- and the hope I have for Year Four that we just entered into.
This is going to be a very harsh look at adoption. My adoption friends might not like it. They might prefer I shut my mouth as to not spread bad words. But our story needs to be told, because it is our reality. My reality. And it is somebody else's reality too (in fact, many have it far worse) and that person needs to know that they are not alone.
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| Gotcha Day May 28, 2012 Xi'an, Shaanxi China |
I struggle with this child.
I struggled to get her home for way too long. We struggled with our own family trauma during the adoption process that left its scars on me. Its safe to say the scars haven't healed.
I struggled to help her adjust for way too long. She struggled with the trauma of 22 months in an orphanage, all the scars that brings, and the difference of having a loving family. Her scars haven't healed either.
I struggled with having a 5 year old who acted like a 3 year old. Nearly every single day I cried real tears over this child, behind closed, locked bathroom doors. I could almost audibly hear my prayers bouncing off the ceilings and ricocheting around the bathroom.
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| Gotcha Anniversary # 1 1 Year Home May 28, 2013 San Antonio, Texas |
The more I try to love her,
the more she pushes me away.
the more she pushes me away.
The more I try to teach her what is right,
the more she goes to do what is wrong.
the more she goes to do what is wrong.
The more I try to teach her that 1+1=2,
the more she fights and insists it's not.
the more she fights and insists it's not.
The more fun we try to have,
the more out of control she gets.
The more I smile and dance and keep my calm,
the more she insists on being angry and screaming mad.
the more out of control she gets.
The more I smile and dance and keep my calm,
the more she insists on being angry and screaming mad.
Raising a child from a hard place is tough. Way tougher than I ever imagined. And I suck at it. I really, truly do. Adoption is TOUGH!!!!!
And sometimes love isn't enough.
If love were enough, we wouldn't face the junk we face.
If love were enough, we wouldn't face the junk we face.
Somedays, I get yelled at by the girl I fought like hell to bring home. She has been known to yell at me to my face, "I don't want you to love me!!!"
Yes, she has said those words this year. To my face. Multiple times. And I turn around and cry someplace quiet, alone.
Yeah, it's that hard.
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| Gotcha Anniversary # 2 Two Years Home May 28, 2014 San Antonio, Texas |
I had hoped that last year was just tough because she was Family-Age-Three.
Family-Age-Three?
That is how psychologists, social workers and adoption experts describe the development of a child from a hard place. All adopted kids will be delayed in some way or another. It's just a fact. Every adoptive parent needs to expect delays even from a healthy child. Here's what we mean by Family Age:
Simply put, Family Age is the length of time the adopted child has been with a family. An adopted child will very often behave according to their Family Age instead of acting their chronological (birth) age.
Example: A 7-year-old child home for 2 years will act like a 2 year old, despite being a 7 year old child according to their birthday. A 3-year-old child home for 1 year will act like a 1 year old despite being 3 years old. And so forth.
Do you see it?
For Us: This past year, Quiet Tiger was 5 years old according to her birthday, but home with our forever family for 3 years. So, despite being 5, she behaved like a 3 year old. We called her our 3 year old in a 5 year old body.
And I despise all three-year-olds.
Even my own sons, I hated at age three. They were living terrors. Case in point, when Super E was 3 and we were living in Nebraska, when we'd need to discipline him, he'd grunt in a very staccato way, "You... hate.... me." We now laugh at it. But back then, it drove us INSANE! He knew we didn't hate him. But my sweet, laid back, loving boy was gone for 1 year, the year he was 3. Well, Quiet Tiger does the same thing, she only says those words, "You hate me," very nasally, not annunciating her words, very slurred, a sure sign of disconnecting. I knew this age could be tough for my daughter, and that coupled with her adoption issues, that this past year might be the end of me. It nearly was.
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| Gotcha Anniversary # 3 Three Years Home May 28, 2015 San Antonio, Texas |
To be honest, she has changed, she has grown, she has improved. People who see her only a couple times a year have noticed how she has changed and matured and grown, physically and emotionally. Just this weekend, my mother-in-law mentioned to me that Quiet Tiger's attention span has improved. So, it is happening. But the change comes slowly. Too slowly even for me to see most days. Too slowly for my liking. So slowly that I get impatient and expect her to act her age, her real, chronological age, not her family age.
I have hope of my girl turning into a sweet Fabulous Four Year Old - a 4 year old in a 6 year old body this year (she'll be 6 in July). I have hope that this will be the year that our family turns a corner, that the girl starts embracing our family, that she matures emotionally and begins to exit her state of family-age-toddlerhood. But experts, psychologists and social workers say that it could be more like 5-7 years in the home before adopted kids "catch up," to their peers emotionally. That statistic makes me sad because it is hard to hold on. It makes it hard to be in the present when all I can do is hold on and hope and dream for some unknown future point when everything will be alright. And maybe it will never be alright. I have to accept that possibility too.
When I look at this face, this face, the face of the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in the whole wide world, I have hope and reason to hold on. And I want it so badly that I ache. But it is so hard!
And I'm just a broken, messed up mom
raising a broken, messed up kid.
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| Gotcha Anniversary # 4 Four Years Home May 28, 2016 At Grandma Collins' cabin Hayward, Wisconsin |
Please, PLEASE pray that this year, year four, would be a banner year for Quiet Tiger and our family. That the bad toddler behaviors would diminish, that our daughter would continue to grow and catch up to her peers emotionally and that she would lessen the grip on her desire to control her world. Please pray that we see the Fabulous Fours from our Quiet Tiger.
With all my heart,
I truly wish my daughter a
Happy 4th Gotcha Day!
I truly wish my daughter a
Happy 4th Gotcha Day!
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Trauma Doesn't Tell Time - A New Look
I've posted before about how experts have proven that the brain remembers trauma, no matter what the age, what the maturity level. Trauma does not discriminate.
On a Monday in mid-April, I took the kids to karate. I knew we were ending our first month of introductory lessons which were cheap at only $14 per student for 2 lessons a week for a whole month. I certainly knew that our fees would go up after our first month. We were brought into the office to discuss the next steps for my 3 karate kids. The printed contract made my jaw drop to the floor. Nearly $4000 for the next 18 months of karate. No, there wasn't any typo, no extra zero, no missing decimal point. Even my boys knew that the price was pure insanity and that their time in karate came to an abrupt end. They left in tears. I left in tears. At home, I couldn't control it. I sobbed while doing the dishes and pretty much all night long. Uncontrollable tears.... over karate.
That following Thursday Prince died at his Minnesota home, 45 minutes away in Chanhassen. My jaw dropped to the floor in the van as I shushed the kids to hear the news and drove up north to my husband's office with lunch. When we returned home after lunch, I finished school with the kids and sat on my couch to relax for 5 minutes. I found myself choking back tears. Friends, I don't even own a Prince album. Sure, his amazing music was part of the soundtrack of my youth. I did a dance routine to Batdance with my dance squad members. I owned the single on cassette. I knew he lived in my home state of Minnesota. But I was never a diehard fan. So why the tears all afternoon and evening?
One glance at the date on the calendar in the menu bar on my laptop and I realized it.
Four years ago.
Four years ago this week we were grieving.
Four years ago this week we were angry.
Four years ago this week we were scared.
Four years ago this week the bottom dropped out.
Four years ago in mid-April we were dealing with the loss of Jay's job at a church outside of Sacramento, California. What I have to say next has never been said publicly and we left some great friends in NorCal that may not like what I have to say, but it needs to be said now. It needs to be said because I need to heal and writing has always been my means of expression.
We were blindsided. We had no idea a firing was heading our way. We had been with the church for only 2 days shy of 1 year. While our Nebraska house took over a year to sell in a badly downed market, it had just sold weeks prior and we had plans to view (and purchase) a home for sale near the church, in our closest friend's neighborhood that very Friday. But Wednesday night, Jay was asked to come into his bosses office and was told, "It's just not a good fit," and was let go.
We felt used. Jay was hired in good part due to his extensive knowledge and abilities to move churches into new buildings or to add onto current facilities. Jay did that seamlessly in California. I served the church in as many ways as I could with a child still at home. I tried to be the best associate pastor's wife that I could be. My 2 boys were young (3rd grade and preschool) and lived in 3 temporary California homes while we waited and prayed for that Nebraska house to sell. House to house to trailer. One suitcase of clothes each and 1 box of Legos, 1 box of Hot Wheels cars was all they had to their names. My youngest boy Super E slept in our bed nearly every single night, wanting to be close to mom and dad, the only things stable in his life. Living like nomads was so hard on him. Our dogs were at the home of a more than generous church member willing to help us out so we didn't have to get rid of our beloved dogs. Our guinea pig was housed at another dear, dear friend's house, those that we would have been living by had we been able to buy that house. We lived like nomads for 1 whole year of our lives and it took its toll on all of us. And then the church pulled the rug out from us.
We were gagged. We weren't allowed to tell anyone about our devastating news, or else the church would revoke any and all severance. We couldn't post anything online, on our blog, no reaching out to friends for networking, no asking for help, no public prayer requests. We had to keep our mouths shut.
We were banned. You'd think we did something illegal or immoral, but no. Yet the church informed us that they would be announcing the staff change at Sunday services and told us we were not welcome to attend for fear that it might "confuse" some churchgoers. The church closed it's doors to us. We were unwelcome.
When my husband came home to the trailer that Wednesday night and told me the news, I swore. I was livid. I wanted to hurt someone. Badly! Jay held up his hand and asked me to calm down. I had to keep my mouth shut. As time went on and we did begin telling parents (off of social media and other public forums, mind you), I was told by many that I had to stay strong for my husband's sake. He felt bad enough, I didn't need to add to his stress, they said. I had to stuff all my emotions, all my thoughts, everything deep down.
Friends, there is nothing healthy about that. I don't care what you say. Even if that was what my husband needed, it was not healthy.
We moved to Texas to stay at my mother-in-law's house, while our Nebraska house was being packed into a storage facility, while Jay began a new job search. It was the only place we could go. We took 3 days to drive there, spent 5 days doing laundry, setting up house, job searching, and then I was back on a plane to California. I was heading out to pick up our daughter in China via San Francisco airport. Ten days in China, 1 new daughter, but still no new job. So, we decided to leave ministry and change careers completely. And while my husband was training for a new career, then driving 200 miles a day from the condo to San Antonio, I had to keep my wits about me as much as I could to support my husband, my new grieving daughter, my 2 sons who had been through the wringer. Crying in the privacy of the shower became a daily occurrence. Stuffing the feelings, silencing the words, hiding the truth only causes harm.
Time hasn't helped. You can tell me all you want that God provided, that we made it through, that we're even better off now than we ever have been. I know that. All of it. I get it. I see it. But friends, that doesn't help. The hurts are still there. The trauma has left its ugly mark on my life and the scars tear open a little each year in mid-April even if I'm not completely conscious of the date. The church (in general) isn't a safe place to me anymore.
That week, that one week in mid-April, before even I remembered, my brain recalled all of it. The grief, the devastation, the hurt, the pain. Thus the tears over karate and a musician I never faithfully followed.
Friends, trauma doesn't tell time, even for adults like me.
On a Monday in mid-April, I took the kids to karate. I knew we were ending our first month of introductory lessons which were cheap at only $14 per student for 2 lessons a week for a whole month. I certainly knew that our fees would go up after our first month. We were brought into the office to discuss the next steps for my 3 karate kids. The printed contract made my jaw drop to the floor. Nearly $4000 for the next 18 months of karate. No, there wasn't any typo, no extra zero, no missing decimal point. Even my boys knew that the price was pure insanity and that their time in karate came to an abrupt end. They left in tears. I left in tears. At home, I couldn't control it. I sobbed while doing the dishes and pretty much all night long. Uncontrollable tears.... over karate.
That following Thursday Prince died at his Minnesota home, 45 minutes away in Chanhassen. My jaw dropped to the floor in the van as I shushed the kids to hear the news and drove up north to my husband's office with lunch. When we returned home after lunch, I finished school with the kids and sat on my couch to relax for 5 minutes. I found myself choking back tears. Friends, I don't even own a Prince album. Sure, his amazing music was part of the soundtrack of my youth. I did a dance routine to Batdance with my dance squad members. I owned the single on cassette. I knew he lived in my home state of Minnesota. But I was never a diehard fan. So why the tears all afternoon and evening?
One glance at the date on the calendar in the menu bar on my laptop and I realized it.
Four years ago.
Four years ago this week we were grieving.
Four years ago this week we were angry.
Four years ago this week we were scared.
Four years ago this week the bottom dropped out.
Four years ago in mid-April we were dealing with the loss of Jay's job at a church outside of Sacramento, California. What I have to say next has never been said publicly and we left some great friends in NorCal that may not like what I have to say, but it needs to be said now. It needs to be said because I need to heal and writing has always been my means of expression.
We were blindsided. We had no idea a firing was heading our way. We had been with the church for only 2 days shy of 1 year. While our Nebraska house took over a year to sell in a badly downed market, it had just sold weeks prior and we had plans to view (and purchase) a home for sale near the church, in our closest friend's neighborhood that very Friday. But Wednesday night, Jay was asked to come into his bosses office and was told, "It's just not a good fit," and was let go.
We felt used. Jay was hired in good part due to his extensive knowledge and abilities to move churches into new buildings or to add onto current facilities. Jay did that seamlessly in California. I served the church in as many ways as I could with a child still at home. I tried to be the best associate pastor's wife that I could be. My 2 boys were young (3rd grade and preschool) and lived in 3 temporary California homes while we waited and prayed for that Nebraska house to sell. House to house to trailer. One suitcase of clothes each and 1 box of Legos, 1 box of Hot Wheels cars was all they had to their names. My youngest boy Super E slept in our bed nearly every single night, wanting to be close to mom and dad, the only things stable in his life. Living like nomads was so hard on him. Our dogs were at the home of a more than generous church member willing to help us out so we didn't have to get rid of our beloved dogs. Our guinea pig was housed at another dear, dear friend's house, those that we would have been living by had we been able to buy that house. We lived like nomads for 1 whole year of our lives and it took its toll on all of us. And then the church pulled the rug out from us.
We were gagged. We weren't allowed to tell anyone about our devastating news, or else the church would revoke any and all severance. We couldn't post anything online, on our blog, no reaching out to friends for networking, no asking for help, no public prayer requests. We had to keep our mouths shut.
We were banned. You'd think we did something illegal or immoral, but no. Yet the church informed us that they would be announcing the staff change at Sunday services and told us we were not welcome to attend for fear that it might "confuse" some churchgoers. The church closed it's doors to us. We were unwelcome.
When my husband came home to the trailer that Wednesday night and told me the news, I swore. I was livid. I wanted to hurt someone. Badly! Jay held up his hand and asked me to calm down. I had to keep my mouth shut. As time went on and we did begin telling parents (off of social media and other public forums, mind you), I was told by many that I had to stay strong for my husband's sake. He felt bad enough, I didn't need to add to his stress, they said. I had to stuff all my emotions, all my thoughts, everything deep down.
Friends, there is nothing healthy about that. I don't care what you say. Even if that was what my husband needed, it was not healthy.
We moved to Texas to stay at my mother-in-law's house, while our Nebraska house was being packed into a storage facility, while Jay began a new job search. It was the only place we could go. We took 3 days to drive there, spent 5 days doing laundry, setting up house, job searching, and then I was back on a plane to California. I was heading out to pick up our daughter in China via San Francisco airport. Ten days in China, 1 new daughter, but still no new job. So, we decided to leave ministry and change careers completely. And while my husband was training for a new career, then driving 200 miles a day from the condo to San Antonio, I had to keep my wits about me as much as I could to support my husband, my new grieving daughter, my 2 sons who had been through the wringer. Crying in the privacy of the shower became a daily occurrence. Stuffing the feelings, silencing the words, hiding the truth only causes harm.
Time hasn't helped. You can tell me all you want that God provided, that we made it through, that we're even better off now than we ever have been. I know that. All of it. I get it. I see it. But friends, that doesn't help. The hurts are still there. The trauma has left its ugly mark on my life and the scars tear open a little each year in mid-April even if I'm not completely conscious of the date. The church (in general) isn't a safe place to me anymore.
That week, that one week in mid-April, before even I remembered, my brain recalled all of it. The grief, the devastation, the hurt, the pain. Thus the tears over karate and a musician I never faithfully followed.
Friends, trauma doesn't tell time, even for adults like me.
Friday, March 18, 2016
A "Me" Project
As parents, we so often put our kids first. As moms, we often put our husbands and children first. We leave ourselves last. I'm not saying it's right or it's wrong. It is just how it is -- with me anyway. And I know I'm not the only one.
Despite a busy few weeks with my husband working 3 or 4 weekends straight, and a long week without his trusty assistant at work, I decided to push the envelope and take on another home project. But this one was completely selfish, all for me and nobody else but me.
I can't tell you how guilty I feel writing that. And it comes back to bite me in the butt later, so I guess I learned my lesson.
Anyway...
In our master bedroom, the previous owners had a small, wall-mounted, cupboard ironing board thing installed. I knew I'd never iron in that small corner of the bedroom, but knew I could fashion the cupboard into something else rather than destroying it altogether. So I made it into a jewelry "box" for me.
I dismantled the inside, removing the ironing board pieces. I had to use a mallet to break down some of the woodwork that held the board into place.
I took the door off the hinges. Some 1x2 boards cut to fit inside the door molding were glued with industrial adhesive so I didn't have to risk screwing into the door itself.
I installed some hardware for dowel rods to the inside of the cabinet and cut dowel rods to fit.
And then I used the week before spring break to sand, prime and paint the exterior and interior of the cabinet. Since all the honey oak in the house will be white, I went with the same white we used for the fireplace.
After a quick run to Joann's for felt by the yard, I used Aleen's Tacky Glue and glued black felt to the inside of the cabinet, dowel rods and to the inside of the door.
Finally, I screwed in 8 hooks per row on the inside of the door.
Now I have a place to hang my necklaces.
And a place to store my bracelets. The hardware for the dowel rods have 1 open end, so for those bracelets with just elastic and no clasps, I can easily raise the dowel rod and pull it out of the cabinet, and slip the bracelets right off.
My regular jewelry boxes are now solely for earrings and rings, although if I could find a ring tray that is narrow enough, I could use it on the inside shelf underneath the cabinet light.
Speaking of which, I left the light that came with the ironing board attached. A little light by the jewelry isn't a bad thing when making decisions on accessories.
All in all, it was less than $30 to do this project. I had the sandpaper, primer, paint and brushes left over from the fireplace project, so no cost there. The 1x2, wooden dowel, hooks and dowel hardware came to about $22 at Menards. The felt I got at 50% off with a coupon (but I did buy 2 whole yards in case I messed something up), so that was only about $5.
I love my new jewelry box. And before anyone thinks of breaking into my house and stealing my pretty stuff, it's all costume stuff, friends! Nothing of value here, so don't waste your time.
This was fun and it makes me smile. But of course, it was a totally selfish project and life sure had to throw everything at me: regularly scheduled homeschool, kid sick in the middle of the night, kids to church clubs, gutter quote (which I totally forgot to cancel), dogs to vets, cleaning house, laundry, ironing, and preparing for a busy weekend. I really didn't need all that, so yes, doing something for just me came back to bite me.
Now onto painting my bedroom. Anyone want to come help me? I'm taking next week off of school for Spring Break and the bedroom will be my priority.
Despite a busy few weeks with my husband working 3 or 4 weekends straight, and a long week without his trusty assistant at work, I decided to push the envelope and take on another home project. But this one was completely selfish, all for me and nobody else but me.
I can't tell you how guilty I feel writing that. And it comes back to bite me in the butt later, so I guess I learned my lesson.
Anyway...
In our master bedroom, the previous owners had a small, wall-mounted, cupboard ironing board thing installed. I knew I'd never iron in that small corner of the bedroom, but knew I could fashion the cupboard into something else rather than destroying it altogether. So I made it into a jewelry "box" for me.
 |
| This is just a stock photo, obviously. I didn't think to take a picture months ago when I dismantled the inside and began dreaming of my new jewelry box. |
I dismantled the inside, removing the ironing board pieces. I had to use a mallet to break down some of the woodwork that held the board into place.
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| Our actual cabinet hanging on the wall by our master bathroom door. |
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| The inside ripped out except the light and 1 shelf. |
I took the door off the hinges. Some 1x2 boards cut to fit inside the door molding were glued with industrial adhesive so I didn't have to risk screwing into the door itself.
I installed some hardware for dowel rods to the inside of the cabinet and cut dowel rods to fit.
And then I used the week before spring break to sand, prime and paint the exterior and interior of the cabinet. Since all the honey oak in the house will be white, I went with the same white we used for the fireplace.
After a quick run to Joann's for felt by the yard, I used Aleen's Tacky Glue and glued black felt to the inside of the cabinet, dowel rods and to the inside of the door.
Finally, I screwed in 8 hooks per row on the inside of the door.
Now I have a place to hang my necklaces.
And a place to store my bracelets. The hardware for the dowel rods have 1 open end, so for those bracelets with just elastic and no clasps, I can easily raise the dowel rod and pull it out of the cabinet, and slip the bracelets right off.
 |
| All put back together! |
My regular jewelry boxes are now solely for earrings and rings, although if I could find a ring tray that is narrow enough, I could use it on the inside shelf underneath the cabinet light.
Speaking of which, I left the light that came with the ironing board attached. A little light by the jewelry isn't a bad thing when making decisions on accessories.
 |
| We'll see how this goes. With a certain little girly-girl in the house, I can possibly foresee the need to put a lock on this so little fingers don't steal mommy's pretty things. Hmmmm. And if this picture doesn't make me want to paint that honey oak trim, I don't know what will! Someday..... |
All in all, it was less than $30 to do this project. I had the sandpaper, primer, paint and brushes left over from the fireplace project, so no cost there. The 1x2, wooden dowel, hooks and dowel hardware came to about $22 at Menards. The felt I got at 50% off with a coupon (but I did buy 2 whole yards in case I messed something up), so that was only about $5.
I love my new jewelry box. And before anyone thinks of breaking into my house and stealing my pretty stuff, it's all costume stuff, friends! Nothing of value here, so don't waste your time.
This was fun and it makes me smile. But of course, it was a totally selfish project and life sure had to throw everything at me: regularly scheduled homeschool, kid sick in the middle of the night, kids to church clubs, gutter quote (which I totally forgot to cancel), dogs to vets, cleaning house, laundry, ironing, and preparing for a busy weekend. I really didn't need all that, so yes, doing something for just me came back to bite me.
Now onto painting my bedroom. Anyone want to come help me? I'm taking next week off of school for Spring Break and the bedroom will be my priority.
Friday, February 26, 2016
Fixer Upper - Part 1a
Well, I lied. I did 1 more super quick project before moving onto something big. I took advantage of 40 degree February weather in Minneapolis (serious thanks, El Nino) and painted a small project out in my garage. Ah, fresh air for oil-based paint! And I figured my quart of Polar Bear paint was still freshly shaken, so why not?
Remember all those hooks I laughed about in the house? I took most down, yes, but wouldn't get rid of them by any means. I repurposed them.
Two of our bathrooms had towel bars. Most stupid invention ever. I mean, towels, then they are wet right after a shower, are heavy. Bars always fall off walls, especially when you find that the racks weren't even drilled into a stud. No. They weren't even anchored into drywall. They were loosely glued to the drywall. Dumb! No wonder they were falling off.
So, I removed the ugly brass hooks.
Sanded down the honey oak boards.
Primed, sanded, wiped, primed again, sanded again, wiped again.
Painted the same Polar Bear white as our fireplace. Two coats with 24 hours drying time in between, per paint instructions. Be sure to see my little note under the boys' bathroom picture.
I replaced the brass hooks with something new and nickel finish from Menard's. I had hoped to spray the brass hooks with silver spray paint, but they didn't take the paint well. New hooks look better and were actually on clearance for $2.00 each.
I rehung all hooks on bathroom walls. Oh, I did the hooks in the girl's dress up area too.
Both bathroom walls need paint obviously. I'm taking color suggestions, so local friends, come on over and see what I'm working with here. I'm in no rush to get this done by any means. Until then, we'll live with the spackled holes from the useless towel bars.
Here's the master bathroom hooks. I really loved that I could repurpose those ugly old hooks!
And now we'll see what we tackle next. Kitchen island? Baseboards and door trim? I'm going to take some time off and just enjoy what I have done, but there will be another project sooner than later, especially if it's going to stay warm and I can open up windows. Stay tuned.
Remember all those hooks I laughed about in the house? I took most down, yes, but wouldn't get rid of them by any means. I repurposed them.
 |
| I had 3 sets of these in the garage just waiting for a place to be needed. |
Two of our bathrooms had towel bars. Most stupid invention ever. I mean, towels, then they are wet right after a shower, are heavy. Bars always fall off walls, especially when you find that the racks weren't even drilled into a stud. No. They weren't even anchored into drywall. They were loosely glued to the drywall. Dumb! No wonder they were falling off.
So, I removed the ugly brass hooks.
Sanded down the honey oak boards.
Primed, sanded, wiped, primed again, sanded again, wiped again.
Painted the same Polar Bear white as our fireplace. Two coats with 24 hours drying time in between, per paint instructions. Be sure to see my little note under the boys' bathroom picture.
I replaced the brass hooks with something new and nickel finish from Menard's. I had hoped to spray the brass hooks with silver spray paint, but they didn't take the paint well. New hooks look better and were actually on clearance for $2.00 each.
I rehung all hooks on bathroom walls. Oh, I did the hooks in the girl's dress up area too.
 |
| Quiet Tiger's dress-up area. Before I hung up all her dress up stuff. Seeing how fresh this looks makes me so antsy to paint those honey oak baseboards and door trim! |
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| Boys' bathroom. Need to sand that spackle when it dries and pick a fun wall color. Here is that caveat that I wanted to mention. Despite the paint can saying we had enough heat in the garage for this paint to cure, I found out this wasn't true. There are some scratches and smudges on this set of hooks that happened just as I was bringing them in to be hung on the walls. Bummer. To make it look perfect, I'll have to sand and refinish this one. But you'd have a hard time finding the flaw as it is right now, so I'm living with it. |
Here's the master bathroom hooks. I really loved that I could repurpose those ugly old hooks!
 |
| Master bathroom. I hung the hooks a bit higher than the previous towel bar. Like the boys' bathroom, I'll have to sand and paint the walls and then choose a fun towel color. I have no idea what color to paint this bathroom, so it will likely not happen for a while. Boring beige isn't terrible. |
And now we'll see what we tackle next. Kitchen island? Baseboards and door trim? I'm going to take some time off and just enjoy what I have done, but there will be another project sooner than later, especially if it's going to stay warm and I can open up windows. Stay tuned.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Fixer Upper - Part 1
When we were in Chicagoland visiting my mom over Thanksgiving, she and my stepdad urged Jay and I to watch HGTV's Fixer Upper. I had heard of it certainly, but we don't have cable, so I had never seen it. In one weekend watching the show recorded on my mom's DVR, we were hooked. Jay and I came home and immediately started watching whatever we could on Netflix and online.
Then I started looking at my "new-to-us" Minnesota house with what I call "Gaines Eyes." I love my home! But it is 20 years old and in need of updating. We immediately knew we'd want to pull up the disgusting carpets and super-ugly linoleum. But what I didn't realize at first was how dated this honey oak woodwork truly is. Fixer Upper taught me that. It's a nice wood, it is, but there's too much of it in this house. From floors to cabinets, to doors and trim, to baseboards and window trim. I could seriously hear Joanna Gaines saying, "You have all this really nice woodwork in the house, but there's just a little too much honey oak going on here." Chip would be nodding his head and making a wisecrack right along with my husband.
So, I'm not afraid of paint and I started researching how best to paint over this honey oak stuff. I researched for about a month, taking copious notes and bookmarking multiple websites, while Jay and I were relaxing in the living room after dinner most weeknights. Jay and I didn't really know what to do for Valentine's Day for each other, so I decided I'd spruce up the honey oak fireplace as a treat for him, for the house, for the family.
Oh, I'd be remiss if I forgot to mention that I chose to do this project on one of the coldest weekends of the year. Ha! Not that we couldn't have run the fire because it is behind glass, but still, I just felt it safer to keep the flames off. Oh well.
On Friday morning, I went back down to the basement and checked that brass trim. Nice and dry. I flipped them over to the front side and lightly sprayed 1 coat of black paint and let that dry all morning. After lunch, that light coat was dry, so I added a second coat.
After a run to the library, I sanded the entire surface of the honey oak mantle with coarse sandpaper and my electric sander. I had to take a hand sander to get into the nooks and crannies and that didn't do as great a job as the electric sander, but I did what I could. Then I wiped everything down with a clean, old, worn out t-shirt of Jay's and I vacuumed up all the dust. Then I taped off all the walls because I had no intention of painting my living room walls yet.
On Friday afternoon, I took out a small brush and my Zinsser oil-based primer in the gold can from Home Depot and primed the entire fireplace. I did the little work first with a brush and then brushed the larger areas. I let it dry overnight even though the can said it would be dry in an hour. I felt overnight would give it really good curing time.
When Jay came home on Friday night, he immediately asked what the smell was. "It's either the oven or the paint." I had pizzas in the oven and cheese was dripping. He turned around to see the fireplace and was pleasantly surprised. Friday night before bed, I went to the basement to check on the spray painted brass trim. It was dry to the touch and I gave it one more coat on the front side and hoped that would be it.
On Saturday morning, the brass trim, now black, looked fantastic! No need for another coat. Yay! I left it in the basement hoping a little more drying time would cure it in case I had a tricky re-assembly.
Then, after running a quick morning errand, I sanded down that primer on the mantle with fine sandpaper, using just a quick once-over. Nothing crazy. Just enough to file down any ridges or drips I might have mistakenly made. I gave it a quick second coat of primer, something that sounds silly, but came highly recommended by many who had previously painted honey oak because 2 coats hides that wood grain even better. Then we ran some fun Valentine's errands that afternoon while the primer dried.
On Sunday, after a Valentine's breakfast date with my Jaybird, we ran back to Home Depot for the finish paint color of our choice. We chose Polar Bear tint and came home with a quart of that in a semi-gloss finish. So, it was time for grubby painting clothes again, that fine brush and a fresh brush and I carefully spread my first coat of paint on that primed honey oak fireplace. Again, doing the small decorative pieces first, then the large surfaces second. What a difference even 1 coat made! I honestly wondered if it would need 2 coats.
Monday was President's Day so that meant no work for Jay, and no homeschool for the kids, so I brushed out my second coat. I doubted if it would need a third. We let it dry all day and all night before making our decision on a 3rd coat of paint.
On Tuesday morning we got up and took a close inspection of my paint job. Jay and I agreed that 2 coats were enough. I removed the painters tape and stood back and smiled.
During the renovation, I had also spray painted some decorative vases that we had. I have teal colored curtains and I love teal and lime green and coral together, but these old vases didn't have the right color. So with a little fresh paint, I repurposed them. I found a cute frame with all my colors and made a sweet little Minnesota sign. I also bought some candles that we had for some stands that were still in a moving box and set those up.
My fireplace is so, so, so pretty now!
Well....
You'll have to excuse the cords hanging from the tv. A 20 year old house isn't wired for a flat panel TV. We'll have to have an electrician out for that. And that might be pricey, so we choose to live with it for now and just do the cheaper updates first. I also want a shelf to the side of the fireplace for components like the DVD player and the Xbox, but I haven't found anything fun at the resale shops lately. The hunt for that piece continues.
But for now, I couldn't resist sharing this with you because we are so happy with it. All in all, from the first sanding to the final placement of decorative pieces, this project took a long weekend and under $50. I'm ready to do the rest of the house, but gosh, all this honey oak is going to take some serious time. The only thing that will be left honey oak will be the wood floors and even those I hope to update with a good sanding and darker stain, but that will take some budgeting because I'll leave that to the professionals.
PS... For clean up, I have learned that not all Mineral Spirits are the same. This is by far the best I've ever used. And it's one of the cheapest at Home Depot too! Oh, and you know about putting wet brushes into a ziplock bag, right? It means you don't need to clean brushes in between the 2 coats of paint. Of course, wash your brushes between primer and paint!
PPS... This is something I did not know about using oil-based paint in a house with gas heat and appliances. I learned from Sears online, that when painting with oil-based paints in such a house, the smell of gas will be stronger until the paint cures. I did laundry while completing the fireplace and fresh, clean clothes out of the dryer smelled like gas. Gross beyond gross!!!! I used a little essential oil spray to help thwart the smell and the smell did die down with time. So, if you fall into this category, get all your laundry done before taking on painting project and maybe use the crockpot for cooking. That's my plan next time.
Next in the lineup might just be the kitchen island, so stay tuned for that! I'm secretly hoping for 1 project per month, but I'm busy enough as it is, so I'm not committing to any sort of timeline yet. In the meantime, what cheap and easy project can you do to your Fixer Upper? Share your home updates with me!
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| Don't we all just LOVE this show? |
 |
| I would seriously buy a vacation home in Waco, TX just to have these two renovate it for us! And we'd become best friends, I just know it! (wink) Chip and my husband would be serious trouble together with their wisecracks. |
So, I'm not afraid of paint and I started researching how best to paint over this honey oak stuff. I researched for about a month, taking copious notes and bookmarking multiple websites, while Jay and I were relaxing in the living room after dinner most weeknights. Jay and I didn't really know what to do for Valentine's Day for each other, so I decided I'd spruce up the honey oak fireplace as a treat for him, for the house, for the family.
Oh, I'd be remiss if I forgot to mention that I chose to do this project on one of the coldest weekends of the year. Ha! Not that we couldn't have run the fire because it is behind glass, but still, I just felt it safer to keep the flames off. Oh well.
 |
| Before. Dated Honey Oak mantle Ugly Brass Trim |
I started late Thursday afternoon. I really should have started it in the morning, but we had homeschool to wrap up for the week. I figured out how to take the face off of this 20 year old fireplace and removed the hideous brass trim, washed them down (really dusty dirty) and roughed them up with some steel wool. Then they got a light coat of high-heat-friendly, black spray paint on the undersides first. I let that dry overnight. I secretly hoped Jay wouldn't even notice the fireplace front being dismantled because he had an insanely busy Thursday workday, and he didn't notice when he came home, but would he notice in the morning before he left for work? Nope.
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| Rust-oleum High Heat Ultra spray paint and the first coat going on. |
After a run to the library, I sanded the entire surface of the honey oak mantle with coarse sandpaper and my electric sander. I had to take a hand sander to get into the nooks and crannies and that didn't do as great a job as the electric sander, but I did what I could. Then I wiped everything down with a clean, old, worn out t-shirt of Jay's and I vacuumed up all the dust. Then I taped off all the walls because I had no intention of painting my living room walls yet.
On Friday afternoon, I took out a small brush and my Zinsser oil-based primer in the gold can from Home Depot and primed the entire fireplace. I did the little work first with a brush and then brushed the larger areas. I let it dry overnight even though the can said it would be dry in an hour. I felt overnight would give it really good curing time.
 |
| Love this stuff! |
When Jay came home on Friday night, he immediately asked what the smell was. "It's either the oven or the paint." I had pizzas in the oven and cheese was dripping. He turned around to see the fireplace and was pleasantly surprised. Friday night before bed, I went to the basement to check on the spray painted brass trim. It was dry to the touch and I gave it one more coat on the front side and hoped that would be it.
 |
| 1st coat of primer |
On Saturday morning, the brass trim, now black, looked fantastic! No need for another coat. Yay! I left it in the basement hoping a little more drying time would cure it in case I had a tricky re-assembly.
Then, after running a quick morning errand, I sanded down that primer on the mantle with fine sandpaper, using just a quick once-over. Nothing crazy. Just enough to file down any ridges or drips I might have mistakenly made. I gave it a quick second coat of primer, something that sounds silly, but came highly recommended by many who had previously painted honey oak because 2 coats hides that wood grain even better. Then we ran some fun Valentine's errands that afternoon while the primer dried.
 |
| 2nd coat of primer We narrowed down the final paint color to those 2 paint chip cards taped to the marble. |
 |
| For a fireplace, a quart of paint was perfect. We chose Polar Bear as our color. |
On Tuesday morning we got up and took a close inspection of my paint job. Jay and I agreed that 2 coats were enough. I removed the painters tape and stood back and smiled.
During the renovation, I had also spray painted some decorative vases that we had. I have teal colored curtains and I love teal and lime green and coral together, but these old vases didn't have the right color. So with a little fresh paint, I repurposed them. I found a cute frame with all my colors and made a sweet little Minnesota sign. I also bought some candles that we had for some stands that were still in a moving box and set those up.
 |
| Old vases with a new coat of key lime spray paint. It photographs a little more yellow than it actually is. A cute frame from the resale shop and I made a cute little Minnesota sign on it that says "home." |
 |
| A couple more vases from a box with fresh spray paint. And cheap candles from Walmart for our old candle holders. Oh, I hot glued some white felt under my vases so the pottery wouldn't catch my new fireplace finish. |
My fireplace is so, so, so pretty now!
Well....
You'll have to excuse the cords hanging from the tv. A 20 year old house isn't wired for a flat panel TV. We'll have to have an electrician out for that. And that might be pricey, so we choose to live with it for now and just do the cheaper updates first. I also want a shelf to the side of the fireplace for components like the DVD player and the Xbox, but I haven't found anything fun at the resale shops lately. The hunt for that piece continues.
 |
| BEFORE |
 |
| AFTER! Ta da! |
But for now, I couldn't resist sharing this with you because we are so happy with it. All in all, from the first sanding to the final placement of decorative pieces, this project took a long weekend and under $50. I'm ready to do the rest of the house, but gosh, all this honey oak is going to take some serious time. The only thing that will be left honey oak will be the wood floors and even those I hope to update with a good sanding and darker stain, but that will take some budgeting because I'll leave that to the professionals.
PS... For clean up, I have learned that not all Mineral Spirits are the same. This is by far the best I've ever used. And it's one of the cheapest at Home Depot too! Oh, and you know about putting wet brushes into a ziplock bag, right? It means you don't need to clean brushes in between the 2 coats of paint. Of course, wash your brushes between primer and paint!
PPS... This is something I did not know about using oil-based paint in a house with gas heat and appliances. I learned from Sears online, that when painting with oil-based paints in such a house, the smell of gas will be stronger until the paint cures. I did laundry while completing the fireplace and fresh, clean clothes out of the dryer smelled like gas. Gross beyond gross!!!! I used a little essential oil spray to help thwart the smell and the smell did die down with time. So, if you fall into this category, get all your laundry done before taking on painting project and maybe use the crockpot for cooking. That's my plan next time.
Next in the lineup might just be the kitchen island, so stay tuned for that! I'm secretly hoping for 1 project per month, but I'm busy enough as it is, so I'm not committing to any sort of timeline yet. In the meantime, what cheap and easy project can you do to your Fixer Upper? Share your home updates with me!
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