Copied from my Facebook status yesterday (August 6):
3 years ago today we were grieving the loss of our Nepal adoption.
2 years ago today we left our furnished home for sale in Nebraska for a new ministry job in Sacramento.
1 year ago we were living at my MIL's while my husband desperately searched for work after losing that "new" job after a year on staff.
Today we are in a home of our own again, we have a daughter from China, my husband has a new job he loves and is quite good at. God saw us through all that ugliness and we're still standing. To Him I owe my thanks.
And I still pray for the children of Nepal.
3 years ago today we were grieving the loss of our Nepal adoption.
2 years ago today we left our furnished home for sale in Nebraska for a new ministry job in Sacramento.
1 year ago we were living at my MIL's while my husband desperately searched for work after losing that "new" job after a year on staff.
Today we are in a home of our own again, we have a daughter from China, my husband has a new job he loves and is quite good at. God saw us through all that ugliness and we're still standing. To Him I owe my thanks.
And I still pray for the children of Nepal.
I got a lot of likes for that status, probably even more than when I posted pictures of my new daughter in China. That surprised me. It really blew me away, and I'd shake my head in confusion as the likes grew in number and say, "Whaaaaat?"
When it comes down to it, I think many people can relate to life's ugliness.
In actuality, August 6th nearly slipped by without me noticing. I had 3 kids who woke up on the wrong side of bed. I hurriedly zipped said kids out of the house in the morning to make it to summer Bible study on time (we were nearly 10 minutes late). I have 1 daughter whose food issues have been resurfacing this week (they come and go). Said daughter is also potty training and had messy accidents yesterday. I have a house I simply cannot keep clean. I have bills to pay, a yard and a pool to tend to, laundry mounting, doctor check-ups and teeth cleanings on the calendar, school starting soon. I'm overwhelmed.
The truth is, I needed to write that status yesterday not for you but for me. Because today on August 7 I needed the reminder that God saw us through pretty much utter disaster. Today I worry about paying bills with my husband's new, one-paycheck-a-month, fluctuating, commissioned salary (scares me to death). Today I worry about not having what we need to get by. Today I worry that we won't have enough to pay for our insane electric bills in 100+ degree temps for weeks and weeks with no end in sight. Today I worry about paying for all the repairs needed on my stupid ghetto van. Today I worry about what tomorrow will bring. Today I worry that my daughter will never, ever listen and obey. Today I worry that my daughter will always be a control freak, fighting me tooth and nail of every stinking little thing. Today I worry that she'll never ever stop wearing diapers. Today I worry that my boys will never stop fighting. Today I worry that I'll never have enough time for 3 children. Today I worry that I just can't handle any more on my plate. Today I'm jealous of friends who have high paying salaries, big huge houses, nice cars that aren't falling apart, extra funds to pay for anything their hearts simply desire.
I'm a mess, right? Right!
I need to look back at the status I wrote yesterday and remember what God did. I meant what I wrote yesterday. Yes, we had disaster, horrible, ugly, tearful, punch-in-the-gut, breath stealing, painful disaster. And God saw us through it all. Even though we're still getting back on our feet and times are tight as we are slowly rebuilding our lives, He'll give us enough to face today.
That has been my daily prayer this summer: "Give us this day our daily bread."
And He does.
He gets us through.
So today I have to lay it all down at His feet again. I have to let go of worry. I have to stop jumping ahead to tomorrow. I have to look back on His faithfulness. And I have to trust Him because it's all in His hands.
And that's exactly where I want my life to be.
