How Much Can You Handle?

Our adoption was a disaster.  If you've followed me long enough you know all the setbacks we had, all the unexpected twists and turns that nearly caused us to give up and throw in the towel on multiple occasions.  And if you read my post last week you'll know that the blows to the gut just keep happening.  I'm fried.

Many people asked me how I made it through the chaos.  Truthfully I didn't handle it well.  Come this summer when we were unemployed, living at my mother-in-laws, and coming up with zero ministry jobs anywhere in the country, I couldn't even post anything about what was going on because I was sure that one more negative thing, one more hardship we faced would drive you all away from us.  Many of you offered prayers and love and support in ways we cannot simply thank you enough.  While we had the support of family and friends, even good meaning Christians would lovingly tell us that:

"God doesn't give us more than we can handle."

Well, that's not true, friends.  

It's not true.  

The Bible verse that those are referencing is from 1 Corinthians where Paul is talking about temptation (specifically talking about getting drunk during Communion).  It is true that God will not allow you to be tempted beyond more than you can bear.  But in regards to every day stresses of life and the ugliness it brings, He'll give you more than you can handle.

I think of Lily's family and how my friends are coping with the daily life and death struggles their beautiful empress is going through.  If you've followed their blog posts, you know how painfully agonizing their journey has been.  I won't expound on that because it's their story to share and you can read their journey on your own.  But I have been a tearful, prayerful wreck and have had such a huge burden on my heart for these friends and all the life threatening circumstances that are thrown at their tiny 3 year old daughter.

Would you be able to bear weeks and months in the hospital?

Would you be able to bear seeing your child in pain?

Would you be able to bear hearing the doctors reiterate, "Your child is very sick."  

No, I didn't think so.  And that weight is more than any loving parent could bear.  It just doesn't matter how strong you are.

Would you be able to deal with a failed adoption and the loss of $9000?  

How about unexpected surgery and medical bills that followed?  

What about 2 job losses in 2 years?  

Could you move your young children across the country to new locales not once but twice?  

Can you afford two car accidents?  

How about the sudden death of a pet from an unknown poison (probably a snake bite)?  

I know others among us are struggling so much more, yet that has been my life these last 3 years.  Contrary to popular belief (sarcasm fully intended), I am most definitely NOT Superwoman.

If God gave us everything we could handle, friends,
why on earth would we ever need Him?  

We wouldn't!  

We simply wouldn't need Him if we could run our lives our own way and get through any messes and trials all on our own power.  And furthermore, numerous verses in the Bible would be completely false if we could handle life on our own.  Emily pointed one specifically out to me not long ago over a nice Facebook chat:

Matthew 11:28-30

"Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads and I will give you rest.  

Put on my yoke and learn from me.  

I'm gentle and humble.  

And you will find rest for yourselves.  

My yoke is easy to bear and my burden is light."

God knew we'd be burdened with troubles more than we can carry on our own.  God knew that sweet Lily would fight for her life.  God knew that our adoption would be ugly, and He knew that our family would crawl through unemployment, and a brand new career and the home buying process, and be faced with more battles like car accidents and the sudden death of a loved dog long before his prime.  

Yes, friends, I have more on my plate than I can handle.  Yes, it's painful.  Yes, I cry a lot these days.  Yes, I'm fearful about what could possibly happen next (and yes, I know that God tells us not to fear too).  

You may have an unbearable weight on your shoulders.  If you don't now, you probably have in the past or something will come up in the future.  John 16:33 says, 

"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world."  

Friends, don't believe the false truth 
that God won't give you more than you can handle.  

He wants you to call out to Him to help you through the mess.  It doesn't mean it won't be ugly.  It doesn't mean it won't hurt.  It doesn't mean you won't struggle.  It doesn't mean you won't question His goodness.  But He will be there in the midst.  He'll help you through it.