I Don't Do Weeds

I just finished reading the second book that an old friend from high school and church recently published. One of the chapters was a list of things she does do and a list of things she doesn’t do. It was a fun chapter to read but I struggled with the idea of why I should write my own lists. But I found it quite applicable during this drama called adoption.

Things I do. I am the caretaker of our home. I do the cooking, the cleaning, and the bill paying. I bathe the children, I changed their diapers, I made homemade baby food, and I led the potty training efforts. I feed, bathe and groom our two dogs. I care for the guinea pig. I run all the errands. I buy generics, much to my oldest son’s dismay. When Jay’s back was out this winter, he was on doctor’s orders to avoid shoveling. I became the snow remover, me in my 5-foot, 3-inch, and 20 pounds overweight frame. Wouldn’t you know that this new duty had to happen the year we had 2 blizzards back to back. Our 3 car driveway was drifted with 3 ½ feet of snow, 4 feet in some places, I kid you not. I opened the garage door during the second blizzard and just cried in my garage wondering how on earth I would conquer that without a snow blower. Thankfully, 3 strange men came by and blew it out for us while I struggled to remove the top foot and a half of heavy white stuff with my plastic, blue snow shovel. I’ve never learned who they are, but I believed they were hired by my neighbor to do his snow removal. Whoever those strangers were, they did it with joy, smiles on their faces, a spring in their step, actually! That’s what service is supposed to be about. Find joy in how you can surprise someone by serving them during their time of need. It will make their day for sure, but it will make your day so much more. God just works that way and I practically laugh at His mathematics in that equation.

That leads me to a thank you. There are those of you out there who are serving us by praying us through this rocky time. When I cannot find the words or sometimes even the sheer desire to talk to God about what is on my mind, you are there lifting our family, our future daughter up to the God who listens intently to His children. I am humbled by your dedication to our family and our cause. You must know that we could not get through this without those prayers. If any of you have ever uttered a single word to God on our behalf, please make yourself known. I want my daughter to know how many people it took to get her home, how many people cared that much about her, about us, to spend their time thinking of us and asking God to direct us. And when we see Jesus face to face, I know I’ll be surrounded by so many more people who have been carrying us along the way in dedicated prayer. I am forever grateful.

Things I don’t do. There are many things I don’t do. I don’t iron, except when it’s absolutely necessary like for weddings, funerals, first day of school, picture day. I don’t mow the lawn. If I have to do the snow removal, then Jay can mow and do the trim! I have mowed the lawn when Jay’s back has been out, but our weed whacker is a beast and so I never do the trim! I don’t exercise regularly, thus the 20 extra pounds that I hate but don’t do anything about. I don’t subscribe to magazines. I don’t go out for regular manicures and pedicures.

But I’ll talk about one because it is what struck me today. Thank you, Shauna, for admitting that you don’t garden. Neither do I! I hate yard work with a passion and I’m sure my neighbors just shake their heads in lament over my weeds, my burned out grass and my lack of landscaping. I believe my disgust stems from the fact that my parents were always busy on weekends tending to the 2 waterfront acres we had in South Barrington. The yard work seemed to come first, then playtime. I remember always wanting my mom to go swimming in the lake with me most every hot summer day, but she’d always tell me to wait until she was done with the yard work.

I’m in no way blaming my parents for it at all! Now that I’m a homeowner, there is definitely a necessity to keeping a well manicured lawn and flower beds. And 2 acres? Forget it! I’ll stick with my tiny quarter acre, thank you very much! I have no green thumb.

This morning I weeded the front flower bed after putting my oldest on the school bus. My sister-in-law is visiting with her 2 kids later today and like my grandma Myrt always said, “I just want the front of the house to look nice.” I have no idea what these weeds are. I have no desire to Google them or ask my local professional at Lowe’s. But I had been gone for 10 days on my annual trip home to Chicago and I came home to monster weeds that have taken over everything. I pulled these tree weeds, as I call them, which are over an inch thick in the stems and taller in length than my 3 year old. I pulled vines that seem to be choking the life out of the bushes. I pulled the thick grassy weeds and the thinner, winding, round-leaf weed that creeps and spreads like wildfire in my beds and in my lawn despite TruGreen’s best efforts this season. Those two weeds always accompany each other.

This year I also pulled up roses that I have hated since we moved in 5 years ago. I never understood why the builder planted them. They are pastel pink, thorny, scraggly, small, buggy and just downright ugly in front of my red brick house. Some people would say these rose bushes are pretty. Why would you ever dig up a rose? Sure, pull them up, but replant them someplace else. Some wouldn’t imagine eliminating these three from my yard and wishing them good riddance in my garbage can.

We’ve all heard the analogy of God pruning us, chiseling us, refining us, more into His likeness. I wonder if he hates pulling those ugly weeds in my life as much as I hate pulling weeds in my front flower bed. It’s dirty work. Despite wearing gardening gloves, my hands and nails always come out filthy. On a hot summer day, it’s a sweaty mess even in the shade of my north facing front yard. Let’s not even talk about the bugs that scurry around when I’ve unearthed them from the soil beneath the weed’s roots.

Does my yard look better when I’m done? Absolutely! It’s acceptable at the very least. Sometimes it looks downright nice. And do my neighbors appreciate it? I’m guessing they do a happy dance behind closed doors when they see me out there doing the work. On a side note, I do find weeding much more enjoyable when I have my 2-year old neighbor B chatting with me through the white picket fence. Thanks for keeping me company this morning, buddy!

But what about those rose bushes? Maybe I pulled those out at the right season in my life. I mean, I waited 5 years. Why now? I don’t know. But I’d like to put something beautiful in their place. Something that’s bright, vibrant, maybe changes color in my favorite season of fall. Maybe some bright Golden Sedum to balance the Moonbeam Coreopsis at the other end of the flower bed. Maybe some mini Hollyhocks because red is my favorite color. All you gardeners out there, I’ll take your two cents and will consider most any suggestions. My front flower bed is empty at one end with the removal of these roses.

I know there’s something beautiful on the other side of this adoption loss. I’m determined to find it. Maybe God just needed to pull out the rose bushes first.