No news on our 800 Approval yet. So enjoy another post I wrote this winter...
Back in December, I was enjoying a seemingly regular nightly occurrence of Settlers of Catan with friends. Actually, we were playing Seafarers of Catan. I'm not much of a gamer, especially when it comes to strategic games. I prefer games like Scattergories and Catch Phrase. But Catan is fun, strategy and all, although you wouldn't know it by my emotions that other night.
In our friend's home, a funny, familiar, framed, black and white picture of Willie Nelson hangs above the game room table. I hear it's an annual re-occurance at the staff white elephant party and they were the "lucky" recipients this year. So with Willie looking down on us, the person sitting next to me said, "I could listen to a little Willie Nelson right now." So, I grabbed my iPad and got on Pandora. We enjoyed a few classic folk and country songs, I'm sure to the dismay of the non-Country fans in the room. A familiar song began playing, which I quickly skipped, only to upset of one of the players.
"Don't skip that one! That's a good song," I was quickly corrected.
"No, it's too sad," was my response.
"But that's why it's so good!"
So, I went back to the song: Tim McGraw's "Don't Take The Girl."
The art of song brings up so many vivid memories. I could hardly finish the rest of the game because I could barely hold back the tears and I know I secretly wiped a few away. All I could hear about in the song was the loss of a loved one and all it brought back to me was the loss of our Nepal adoption. The pain honestly surprised me because August 6, 2010 was over a year ago. We hadn't even been matched with a Nepali girl at that point, so we didn't lose a "specific" loved one. But the loss was refreshed within me and I wanted so badly to excuse myself from the game table and go sob into a pillow somewhere over the loss of a dream and the sadness of knowing so many wonderful Nepali children are still without the love of a family.
I was reminded again weeks later when our pastor happened to mention Mount Everest and Kathmandu in a weekend message. Seriously? Come on. How many times do your pastors mention Kathmandu in their messages? All the time, right? Again, tears filled my eyes over the loss of our dream of a beautiful Nepali girl in our family.
I hope Nepal re-opens one day. I hope all countries would be open and have the structure to support international adoption. I hope I never stop grieving for those in need of care, family, and love. I hope I never lose my heart for the orphan.
