I’m not surprised by this one. This particular agency we applied to (Help Us Adopt) stated that they gave preference to childless families. I’m still happy I tried and I’m glad that there will be money going to other deserving families. God is just asking me to trust Him a little more.
Admittedly, I’m finding it hard to trust right now. Really hard!!! Jay just had a MRI this week for his 20-year long battle with back problems. We now have a diagnosis and it is most certainly not muscular. He has a bulging disc between L5 & S1 and he also has stenosis (narrowing of the spinal column). So, the MRI itself will be pricey to pay. Our maximum out-of-pocket is still in the thousands, including the deductible. But now we’re looking at 1 round of steroid injections to see if that will help Jay get through the summer. Then we’ll face back surgery this fall or winter. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not made of money.
I know God has a plan for us, but I’m really feeling clobbered right now (did I mention our lawn mower also died and we’ll need to get a new one?). How are we going to get through this larger than life financial mountain in the midst of an international adoption? I have absolutely no stinking clue.
I’m going to be really selfish and beg for your prayers for me right now! It’s really hard for me to find faith with all these goings on. I just want to be on the other side of this, laughing at my lack of faith and in awe of how God conquered it all for us. I know He will.
Psalms 46:1
I have been lurking on your blog for a little while. We had previously considered adopting from Nepal. I wanted you to know I said a little prayer for you when I read this post. I understand your husband's pain. I blew my L5/S1 five years ago. There are days walking is somewhat difficult. Physical therapy helped as did basic Yoga. I'm trying to put off surgery as long as possible. I feel your pain when it comes to money. We just brought our son home in January from China and feel the call from God to adopt again. The only thing we can say is "how" because we are still paying off the first one. I wish our first response was "ok" but I'm still working on accepting God's plan. I'm a type A personality - it's difficult! Sorry this comment is long. You are not alone and I stand in faith with you through all of these trials. In my prayers,
ReplyDeleteSheila
I am praying for you and your family. I know going through these hard times is hard on you, but I too believe that God will conquer it all for you. While in the midst of trials it is hard for us to see the end and HIS plan. I know HE will take care of you and your family. I am always praying for your child to come home soon too! --Shelly
ReplyDeleteOh friend. Praying for you right now (for this, and for the letter you wrote about today...)
ReplyDeleteAnd I so feel you. It seems like as soon as we started to seriously work toward adoption, rather than receiving money, we've had one unexpected expense after another (biggest: the death of our AC/furnace.) And the rental still has not sold, so we're paying both mortgages, which is eating up our savings, month by month. I don't know what to think... But I am thankful for the reminder from the study we're doing THIS week with our college folks - Asa's prayer in 2 Chron 14: "LORD, there is no one besides You to help in the battle between the powerful and those who have no strength; so help us, O LORD our God, for we trust in You".
Also...why is your blog public now? Did something change?