I Want Off the Roller Coaster

For RAD kids, it's very typical for them to have a few good days here and there.  Some of my RAD mom friends even report good weeks on end.  Weeks.  That, I cannot fathom.  It makes me shake my head.  I doubt we'll ever get there.

Two weeks ago was Spring Break.  We didn't do anything.  We didn't go anywhere.  We just stayed home.  I kept up with homeschool for the boys while my daughter played with toys in the room with us.  Every day, any time I tried to read anything to my oldest, my daughter would start being obnoxiously loud with her toys.  Banging, crashing, pounding.  That was the least of her behaviors, but when redirected to a strong-sit or something, she'd rage.  Day after day.  How dare I have the audacity to expect my 7.5 year old to be quiet for 20 minutes while I read something for school?  And then to have to deal with her raging self, holding her down so she won't hurt herself or hurt me.  She tried and tried.  I wanted to put her into her room, but that's exactly what she wants.  She wants to be alone, to not have to interact with people, more importantly, not to have to be subject to a parent, her mom, in charge of her whole entire day.  So, she was next to me raging.  Day after day.  Interrupting our schoolwork.  Making us have to skip subjects and just call it a day because none of us could think straight. 

When she went back to school, I was relieved.  I practically danced the whole way down the street to our house after the bus picked her up and whisked her off to school for 8 glorious hours!  My smile returned.  To my surprise, she came back relatively happy and well behaved.  Not perfect by any means, but no raging, that's for sure.  She was almost pleasant each day of the week.  She commented how she enjoys being a happy 7 year old.

It never lasts.  It never, ever lasts. 

One week of decent behavior led to a weekend of wetting her pants and raging and maniacal behavior for her brothers while we were out at a business meeting. 

RAD moms, help a girl out.  How do you find, and more importantly, hold onto hope when it's a constant roller coaster like this?  I know the Biblical answer to my own question.  I do.  And that should be enough.  Period.  But I am so done.  I want off the roller coaster!