Their latest deal which seems to get their panties in a bunch are the words "disabled" (and it's forms), "handicapped," etc.
They want to hear words like "different," "differently-abled," etc.
Good gosh!
Everybody is so offended by every stinking little thing!
We need to grow up, people!
Seriously!
Before I go on, to those of you who have heard the word "disability" or "handicap" used in a derogatory way, or with a snide, rude, demeaning tone, I'm not talking to you. This post is NOT about you and those situations. In those situations, I... have... your... back!
I'm talking to those parents who would in no way ever think of checking a box on a daycare/school/church/sports/doctor form asking if the child has a disability, or even just someone simply noticing and commenting plainly, blankly with no purpose of harm whatsoever.
 |
| My daughter's right hand or lack thereof. |
In agreement...
Yes, our kids were born differently. They were not born as a "typical," "normal" child with all of their limbs in tact. They have what doctors like to call an "anomaly or defect." Frankly, we are all born differently. Every single one of us has something different about them. For some of us, the difference is more profound, more visible, more life-altering. For some of us, it's not.
Yes, I've said all along in these last 5 years that there is nothing my 1-handed daughter cannot do! And it's true! Her special need, her disability, is not her hand! It's her Reactive Attachment Disorder that is by far more debilitating than anything else in her life. BY FAR!
In protest...
But here's the deal. The word "disability" and it's forms is more of a legal term than anything else. And limb different friends, it's a GOOD thing, this word "disability!" The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), and the corresponding Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) protects our limb different kids from discrimination! And isn't this what we want? Haven't you been saying that you don't want your child discriminated against in life because of their limb difference? Wouldn't you even agree that it would be considered illegal to discriminate against someone who is "differently-abled," in your words?
Then friends, remove the panties from your rear end and be THANKFUL that we do have laws that protect our DISABLED kids from discrimination!
About 3 years ago,
I might have agreed with you
about the word
DISABLED.
But now I don't agree with the arguement.
Let me tell you what we have been going through personally these last few months. Hopefully this will put it in perspective to you, especially those of you with infants and toddlers with limb differences (that seems to be the majority of the group raising the uproar of the word "disability.")
1. I have not found 1 thing that my 1-handed daughter cannot do (other than monkey bars on the school playground).
2. Some tasks take my 1-handed daughter a few seconds longer than 2-handed peers (like buttoning pants after using the restroom, zipping a jacket, tying her shoes)
3. Because my daughter has extremely limited use of her right hand because of no fingers whatsoever, she has found ways to adapt to things to make them work for her (like holding a jump rope in gym class with use of a wristband, or holding a mallet differently than instructed in music class).
4. Teachers this year have sadly treated her differently in school, haven't seen the potential or allowed her to try and make her own accommodation or adaptations, because of her hand difference, and because of which, we have begun the 504 Process (which she qualifies for... under... the... IDEA... law).
5. After speaking with an advocate about getting assistance and accommodations from the school, we have learned that there are laws in our state pertaining to Emotional Heath Disorder (EHD) or Other Health Disability (OHD), for which my daughter clearly, without a doubt qualifies.
Friends, while you may think that right now, your limb different child is just like any normal child, there will come a day like we have just been having, when you need to reach out for some help, all because of that very same limb difference! Think about it. My daughter with only 5 fingers might need adaptive equipment in order to learn how to play a recorder in elementary music class. She might need assistance from the school in finding a 1-handed typing program. And she might need the accommodation of more time in typing any school assignments. And she might even need help advocating for herself in a school setting when kids bully her about her lack of a right hand. It's all reasonable, right? Right!
And you can't have it both ways!
You can't say in 1 breath that your child is not disabled, and then in the next breath, ask the school or employer or other professional for accommodations due to a limb difference. You can't have it both ways.
Let me leave you with 1 final thought.
Your child's disability (there, I said it) makes your child no less of a person! Period! So, don't let that word trip you up. Don't make a big deal out of that word in front of your child! They are already leading a different life from you or I. You and I (most likely) have not had to live with the stares, the questions, the giggles, the comments, the pointing from other kids. Let's not give the words "disability," "disorder," or even "handicap" a bad wrap! Your child's value is not determined by a word that is merely meant to diagnose medically or to protect or even to HELP these kids by US law.
And boldly, I will shout it from the rooftops that my daughter's value isn't determined by any word you put in front of her. And that includes words like "disabled person" but also includes the words "adopted child" because her story matters. Every single part of her story matters. And she was created by a loving God who is perfect in every way. He didn't make a mistake when He created her. He knew precisely what He was doing. And He loves her more than I ever possibly will be able to love.
And that alone is where her true value lies.
