Merry Christmas 2013

I debated about sending out Christmas cards this year.  I didn't do it for the 3 years we were in the midst of an adoption.  I didn't send them last year because we weren't spending any extra money on any little thing since Jay had just started his new career.  This year, I just want to keep things simple and free even though I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE receiving Christmas cards.

I'll recap our annual highlights and lowlights quickly for this year's Christmas card/blog.

JANUARY
was a good month.

HIGH:  We were pleasantly surprised by amazing fireworks all across San Antonio on New Year's Eve.  We have one of the best spots, up on a bit of a hill where we can see great fireworks from our back deck.  Local friends, come join us on New Year's this year.  We have lots of extra space for friends to camp out to avoid driving with the crazies after midnight.  It's Jay's favorite holiday, so come on over!

FEBRUARY 
was a bad month.  A VERY BAD month. 

LOWS:  A car accident for Jay (he was okay, but our Ford not so much), followed by the loss of our dog.  We were shocked and traumatized by the sudden death of our 4 year old American Eskimo dog, Kenai.  We think he was bitten by a snake or a scorpion or somehow poisoned.  He was acting funny at bedtime and less than 2 hours later was dead in my arms near midnight.  Worst night ever.

Kenai in back.  Juneau in front.
One of the last pictures I have of Kenai just days before he died.

MARCH 
was a great month.  WOO HOO!!!

HIGHS: My mom and stepdad came to visit and we celebrated an unplanned event when Super C chose to be publicly baptized at our church after Easter services.

An Easter visit from Grammie & Rand.

Jay baptizes our son at Oak Hills Church!

APRIL
had it's highs and lows.

LOW:  The catalytic converter on my van decided it needed replacement.  Over $2000 down the drain. I hate my lemon of a van with a passion!

HIGHS:  We drove up to Austin for the wedding of some Willow Creek friends.  Then my Super E turned 6 at the end of the month.  I love this boy so much I feel like my heart could burst!

Great to see my old boss and his wife at their daughter's wedding in Austin!

Me and my boy on his SIXTH birthday!

MAY 
had some pretty BIG extremes.

HIGH:  We were honored to attend the retirement ceremony of our friend after years and years of service to our country in the US Air Force.  We finished our 1st year of homeschooling!  We marked our Quiet Tiger's very 1st Gotcha Day Anniversary (enjoy a link to the video I made for her).  We spent Memorial Day with Jay's cousins on Lake LBJ.

LOW:  My dad had a heart attack in Illinois.  He is recovering well, but it wasn't as minor as originally diagnosed.

After the retirement ceremony at Lackland AFB.

Celebrating Gotcha Day all day long.  A yummy freeze pop after lunch.

Sending my dad a get well care package complete with photos.

JUNE 
brought the drama.  Too much drama.

HIGH and LOW:  Jay's summer regional event with his new company and he won the prestigious Ted Jones Prospecting Award.  But at this event our Quiet Tiger experienced her first major trauma of being left with sitters at the resort during the regional event.  She clearly thought we were there to abandon her.  It was a good weekend away for Jay but it was a completely hellish weekend away for me.

At the Regional with his award.

Ready to swim at the Summer Regional event in Horseshoe Bay.

JULY
brought some fun.

HIGHS:  We celebrated July 4th with our friends Brandy & Steve.  We celebrated our daughter's 3rd birthday and we topped the month off by my Super E losing his first 2 teeth in one night!  Excitement all around.

Happy Independence Day 2013!

Happy 3rd birthday, Quiet Tiger!

Super E loses his first 2 teeth on the same night.

AUGUST 
brought anniversaries.

HIGHS:  Jay and I celebrated 12 years of marriage.  And then I realized that it was 20 years ago that month that I left to study in Akita, Japan.  Twenty years.  WOW.

August 18, 2001

Minnesota State University - Akita, Japan
August 1993

SEPTEMBER 
was good.

HIGHS:  We were diving into our second year of homeschooling.  Super C turned 10 years old -- double digits, folks!  This boy has my heart.  We made a day trip and explored a tiny piece of the Texas Gulf region.

Super C and his minion cake that I made for him.

The beautiful Texas coastline.

OCTOBER 
was filled with adult decisions and kid-type fun and games.

HIGHS:  We had to make a tough decision on Jay's office location -- either staying where he was working with another financial advisor, waiting for an office to open back in the Midwest (preferably Minneapolis), or taking an office here in San Antonio.  Decision made and Jay moved into an office of his very own on the North side of the city.  He's enjoying it and doing quite well.  For the rest of us, we secretly set up Jay's home office while he was out of town on business for a week.  We celebrated Jay's birthday and then my birthday.  The kids went to their first birthday party for friends.  Halloween was fun for all.

The new office!

Halloween fun.

NOVEMBER 
flew by.

HIGHS:  Our Quiet Tiger is successfully potty training!  She can't be trusted quite yet to remember what to do every single time, but she's getting there and even has had a good number of nights when she has stayed dry through the night.  The kids and I were extras in a movie along with friends of ours.  That was fun!  We thoroughly enjoyed Thanksgiving with friends Brandy & Steve and a couple of Air Force Basic Trainees.  We replaced one of the Christmas trees that were left behind in our Nebraska home and started to decorate for Christmas.

On the set of The Adventures of Pepper and Paula.

We found a cheap tree and we went with the "family tree" this year
instead of my usual silver snowflake "formal tree."
Hope to find our formal tree on clearance after the holiday.

DECEMBER
has already been quite busy!

HIGHS:  We're already busy with holiday parties for Jay's work, Rotary and our homeschool co-op.  I have yet to bake any Christmas goodies for our family but have done plenty for events.  We finished week 19 of homeschool -- just over half way done with the entire year!  I plan to take a couple of weeks off from school to enjoy the holiday.  We've seen the cousins at the lake and we'll see Jay's mom on Christmas Eve.  Hoping for some New Year's fun and good fireworks again.

Early Christmas on Lake LBJ.

Have a very merry Christmas 
celebrating the birth of our Savior!  

With all our love 
from our family to yours, 

Jay, Brooke, Super C, Super E, Quiet Tiger

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National Adoption Month

This is my first, and probably only post regarding National Adoption Month.  Some families blog once a day during this time of year.  Some families post pictures of actual waiting children each day of the month.  Sadly, I don't have a lot of time for that.  I just want to post the basics.

Our church did a FANTASTIC message at the end of October regarding adoption.  I'm thrilled that I'm finally a part of a church that is living out James 1:27 in so many ways.  If you haven't listened to it or watched the video, please go here and look up the message: Standing up for Children 10/28/2013.  [Note:  Once you're on the website, you may have to click on the "Archives" tab and then select the series "Fit to Fight for your Family" and then you'll see the message titles.]  It's 35 minutes long, you can watch the video or listen to the audio version.  The second half of the message deals with adoption and it's simply spot on.  It's a "can't-miss" message.

If you don't have time for a church message, let me outline the ways you can help orphans.  I'll keep my points in line with what they said in church, but I'll expand it from my personal point of view as an adoptive parent.

1.  Adoption vs. Abortion

Not all people and not all churches behave well when a woman is faced with an unexpected pregnancy.  I could have jumped out of my seat with joy when I heard our pastor say that our church would be a support and source of encouragement for those facing unexpected pregnancies.  Our church will not shun someone facing an unexpected pregnancy.  All churches need to offer grace just like this.  If you're not a part of a church like this one, find one!  Find people who will support the decision to choose life.  Get involved with a local church or organization that helps pregnant moms in their time of need.

If you know someone who is faced with an unexpected pregnancy, walk along side them.  Assure them that although 9 long months of pregnancy will not be easy or comfortable, there are many families out there who want to adopt newborn babies!  Be a voice for that baby and a loving support for the birth mom!  No matter what the circumstance, be Jesus to that woman.

And I'll go so far as to say that if you know someone who terminated a pregnancy in the past, do not shun them either.  Offer grace.  Period.

2.  Support Christian Orphanages

Orphanages worldwide need support.  With over 147 million orphans on this planet, it is up to us to make sure those children receive the basic care that they need.  Our church supports many orphanages. I know of other churches supporting more.  Ask your church to start supporting orphanages.  If you don't know how to give directly to an orphanage, leave me a comment below and I will connect you with our church.

In addition to supporting orphanages, here are some of my personal thoughts on supporting other orphan-realted agencies.  Here are some of my favorite organizations:

• LifeSong for Orphans is a Christian organization that gave us a $5,000 interest-free adoption loan to bring our daughter home.  The money we pay back goes to help another child come home, so on and so forth.  We are still paying off our loan.  You can simply give a financial gift to LifeSong or you can purchase some of their products, all proceeds going to help orphans worldwide.  Your donations to LifeSong are tax deductible if you're looking for some holiday giving.

• Help Us Adopt is another organization that gave us a $4,000 adoption grant to help us bring our daughter home.  We couldn't have done it without them and we are very grateful for their donors who made our adoption possible.

Sponsor a child!  Sponsoring a child means you donate funds to an orphan waiting for a forever family.   The money you give goes towards that child's adoption fees, taking a bit of the financial burden away from the adopting family.  Some financial gifts might also be put towards medical fees for procedures that a child needs immediately, before being placed with a family.  Put a child's face in front of you and it will be hard (if not impossible) to turn away.  Here are some favorite sites where you can sponsor a child.  I'm only going to list a few, but know there are so many more and I can get you more links.

• ShowHope.  This is Stephen Curtis Chapman's ministry.  It's phenomenal and I have friends who have adopted ShowHope kids.  ShowHope is now linking with 6 (I think) US churches, ours being one of them.  They simply want kids in forever families and they don't want anything, especially money, standing in the way.

• Love Without Boundaries.  I love this organization.  They provided us with so much information on special needs adoptions when we first started out in our process.  I cannot say enough about them.  You can look at photos of children needing your help right now and sponsor a child through them.

• Half the Sky.  An organization serving the kids in China's orphanages.  I have friends who have adopted children through this program.

Give to an adopting family.  Countless adoptive families have heard the phrase, "If you can't afford adoption, don't do it."  We had people admit they were angry at our support letters during our adoption and were offended that we asked for financial help.  How sad that people just don't understand what the orphan means to Jesus.  And even if a person isn't a Christ follower, it's so awful to think that someone can turn against a child in need.

I simply cannot thank our donors enough.  It took nearly 40 families to bring our daughter home and I have all of their names written down as a record for my daughter to see who it took to bring her home -- who lived out James 1:27 in a very personal, tangible way.  Does $5 make a difference?  YOU BET IT DOES!  We had 1 gal in Nebraska who was on a very fixed income and honestly could have used a few extra bucks herself each month.  Instead, when some extra cash came her way, she gave it to us, month after month after month.  Talk about humbling!  Sometimes it was $5 and sometimes it was $10.  And every single penny went towards my Quiet Tiger's adoption fees and I'm willing to show you our bank account to prove it.

Don't know anyone adopting currently?  I DO!  I know plenty of friends (and not just Facebook friends) adopting right now and some of them have no idea where the funds are going to come from but are trusting God every step of the way to provide.  Please ask me and I will put you in touch with an adopting family immediately!!!  Even $5 makes a difference!

3.  Mentor a child or family in need.

When we were in California for that one brief year I saw the brokenness of the American family.  Some of my son's third and fourth grade classmates came from broken homes.  I cannot tell you how heartbroken I became at the parent open house when kids in my son's classroom looked at my family, a mom and a dad (and our youngest son too), who came and encouraged our oldest son in his classwork.  One boy lowered his head and whispered to himself, "I wish I had a family here."  Heartbreaking.  We need to support kids in need in our own communities.

I'm going to say one more thing here regarding helping families in need.  If you know someone who is a foster parent or an adoptive parent, support them!  This is NOT easy business, people!  Another blogging adoptive family recently wrote, "They are not all of a sudden okay just because they are home."  Oh friends, that is so very, very true!  Recently, a friend on a private Facebook adoption group posted the struggles she is still having with her son home from China for over a year.  I cannot tell you how many of us responded, myself included, saying, "Same here!  You're not alone!"

Support families post-foster and post-adoption.  Bring them dinner.  Offer them nights out so they can get away and recharge without the kids.  Babysit their kids so they can go out birthday shopping or Christmas shopping.  Ask if you can come over to simply chat after kids are in bed.  Bring tissues.  Bring a punching bag.  Bring pillows to scream into.  Bring listening ears, an open heart and keep judgements to yourself.  We need your support even after the kids have long since come home.

4.  Become a foster parent.

Jay's parents were foster parents.  Jay's brother Ron came from the foster care program.  There are over 424,000 children in foster care right now in the US.  If the church would rise up and act, we could give a home to every one of those kids in need.  I met a girl here in San Antonio this summer who was a former foster child.  Yes, she was bounced around from home to home to home, but she was so grateful and appreciative for all the families that showed her love and gave her the care and support she needed.  You can make a difference in the life of a child by opening your home for a period of time.  Yes, there are hoops to jump through to become a registered foster parent, there are interviews, background checks, fingerprints and homestudies.  Is a child in need worth jumping through a few hoops?  Give a child a chance for hope and a future!

5.  Adopt.

I know not everyone can adopt.  That's why we have numbers 1-4 above.  But think about it.  Do you have extra room in your home?  Do you have extra food in your pantry?  Do you have extra love in your heart?

No excuses here folks.

DO NOT let money, or the lack thereof, stop you from adoption.  My husband was working at a non-denominational church and I was a stay-at-home mom when we started our process.  Do you really think we had $40,000 cash laying around to adopt (Nepal was pricier than China)?  No.  No, we didn't.  We didn't even have half that or a quarter of that amount.  All we had in savings was our 2 months salary emergency fund.  That's it.  And we used it!  We had to take a GIANT leap of faith and trust God to provide.  And provide He did, every step of the way.  Each time I had to pay an adoption related fee the money was there.  Yes, I had to work for it.  I put on garage sales, I babysat in my home, I was a wedding coordinator at our church, I worked in our childcare at church, we sent support letters, we held fundraisers, and when we knew someone personally with financial means, we had to ask for help and that wasn't easy.  When all hell broke loose during our adoption (the evil one trying to thwart God's plans), God was always right there.  And He won!!!

I know not worring about the money thing is easier said than done.  After all, if I had $30,000 laying around right now, I'd be jumping back into China adoption to bring a child about to age-out home and into our family forever.  But for us it's more than the money right now.  I'm holding off for my Quiet Tiger right now.  She still needs this time to adjust and we're still in healing mode after all we've been through (future blog post coming).  I don't know if God will lead us toward adoption again, but I'm saving what we can now in case He does call us again so I can be prepared.  And all the while, I'm giving $10 here, $20 there to help friends with their adoptions.

And it goes even further than offering money.  During an adoption, things go wrong.  Washers and dryers break.  Cars break down.  Lawn mowers die.  Life happens.  Maybe you're a handy person who can help fix things when they break down and do the job for an adopting friend for free, or for a nominal fee.  Maybe you cut hair and can offer an adopting family free haircuts for their family.  Maybe you can bring groceries to an adoptive family just as a way of eliminating some of the everyday expenses, so they can put more towards their adoption.  We had friends fix our lawnmower and our a/c and another friend fixed our car in his driveway for a very small fee.  Get creative and get out there and help in any way you can!

DO NOT let our adoption story scare you.  Hopefully our story shows God's faithfulness through trial after trial after trial.  But believe me, of my many adoption friends, most did not have the horrid struggles we had.  Most people "sail" through their adoptions with few obstacles in their way.  Most of my friends just couldn't believe all we had to endure.  And of my Christian friends, all agreed that God was up to something BIG if all those attacks were happening to our family in the midst of our adoption.  God clearly won the battle and our daughter is home and we are still standing.

DO NOT let anyone stand in your way.  Maybe your family thinks you're crazy for considering adoption.  Do you think people thought it crazy when Noah was building the ark?  Do you think Peter thought it crazy when Jesus told him to walk on the water?  Didn't Judas think it crazy when Mary poured out her expensive perfume on Jesus' feet?  Yes, yes and yes.  There are too many stories in the Bible about crazy things people did for God.  Was God different then?  Is he different now?  No.  No way.  He is the same today as He was yesterday.  In our ever-changing world, He is the one constant we have.  God calls us to do crazy things for Him and it's up to us to respond.  You're not crazy for wanting to help the orphans in our world!  The Bible is clear on the subject.

I know this is a long post.  And I'll end with one last thing.  Take some time to pray about it and ask God how He wants you to serve His children in need.  He will answer you because He doesn't want you to ignore them.  Will you join me?  Even today I'm still praying this simple prayer:

"Dear God, 
Please show me how You want me to care for the orphan.  
AMEN!"

Just look at what love can do!

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Surprise, Jaybird!

My husband was gone all last week on back-to-back business trips.  And while he was gone I was VERY busy.  I tend to take on house projects when he's gone as a way to surprise him when he gets back.

Saturday before he left, I scoured the house top to bottom.  It smelled so nice and Pinesol-y.  There was a reason for my madness - a surprise visitor arriving that next week (more on that later).  Saturday night we finally got our TV mounted on the living room wall as well.  That felt great!

Then on Sunday we went to church, ran to Walmart for some travel toiletries for Jay, then back home for lunch and packing, and at last we were off to the airport.  From there, the story was a big secret.  My kids and I were on a mission.

Instead of going home, the kids and I drove an hour and half north to Austin to the Ikea.  Queue the Hallelujah Chorus!  I told L walking into Ikea that it was the land of my people.  Oh, Sweden!  One day I'll get there to see the land of my ancestors and hopefully meet an adoption friend and her handsome little China man too.  But I digress.

Oh my!  Did she ever ENJOY this place!
She climbed on everything and was so excited!
Giggles, giggles and more giggles.

Super C pretending to be a Financial Advisor.

They loved the orange couch under a loft bed.

My boys still love stuffed animals.
The boys begged me to take their pictures.

They wanted to bring every one of them home.
And at cheap Ikea prices, I almost wanted to as a reward
for making the trip with no complaining!

We picked up 5 Laiva shelving units for my husband's home office - my official project for the week.  For nearly a year we had been living with all my husband's ministry books in LARGE boxes in the closet of an empty upstairs bedroom.  Every now and then my husband would need a book from one of the boxes for his Bible study and the room would be left a shambles of books everywhere and boxes barely holding together.  With my husband's new office being located at the North edge of town, meeting with more local clients might be best suited from a home office, so it was time to get it ready and shelving was the first start.

I treated my kids to hot dogs, chips and drinks at the cafe near the exit and we drove home, missing much of the Austin rain storm.  No, we didn't get the Swedish Meatballs, I make those at home from scratch.  I should have picked up some Lingonberries though, as they are hard to find in San Antonio unless I go on base with my friend Brandy.

She ate a hot dog!  Last time I made hot dogs she refused it despite eating them in China.
She was either really hungry or she really likes Ikea dogs.

Sunday night the boys and I stayed up until midnight assembling shelves.  One set came out broken and I phoned Ikea for a replacement part.  Upsetting to say the least.  But 4 out of 5 shelves was better than none.  I just left space for the remaining one on the office wall.

Building until midnight.
And L slept through the hammering.

On Monday we did school, doubling up on curriculum, making it a very long day, but I had good reason for the extra work (our surprise visitor).  That night the boys helped me alphabetize all the books and I stayed up late again putting everything up on the 4 shelves that I had available.

On Tuesday we had our homeschool co-op, so the day was pretty much packed, but after dinner I went to sand and prime the desk that I received for free from another local homeschooling family.  Thanks, Nicole!!!  It was laminate furniture, but I followed this website and prayed for a good outcome.  Tuesday night before bed I applied the first coat of paint and it was looking good.  I would like a layer of polyurethane on top of the desk to protect against scratches or water.  I still hope and plan to do this in the days to come.  In the meantime, I need to get Jay some coasters!

Rolling out the primer late at night after a full day of school and co-op.

Super E loved to paint just like his mama.
The desk had some water damage to it, but I was able to sand it down for the most part.
At some point, we may put a glass top on it as our neighbor is in the custom cut glass business.

On Wednesday we did schoolwork and rolled out another coat of paint.  Then I did something weird.  When we moved to TX, some of the hardware came off our bedroom furniture and was never found.  So instead of buying new hardware for the desk, I took the hardware from my dresser and used them on the desk.  When I go to paint the dressers (maybe when my mom visits next) I'll get all new hardware for the dressers since some of the originals weren't found.  During the drying process, one of the desk drawers tipped over onto one of the others and peeled paint.  Oh, I was not happy.  Everything was looking so good and just needed more drying time.  I also decorated our house for Fall/Halloween and it was fun to see all that decor again after being in boxes for over a year.

Doesn't photograph well at night, but I love my monsters
in my upstairs windows for Halloween.
There are 2 more windows to the left, but hidden a bit by trees.
Thanks, Pinterest!

Thursday morning we did school and spent the afternoon putting the office back together.  I touched up the desk drawer from the mishap the day before.  It didn't come out looking perfect, but that would have taken sanding the whole thing down again and I didn't have ample time for that before Jay returned home.  We cleaned up the mess of other books and junk needing a place in our home.  I vacuumed and enjoyed time with a friend who came by that afternoon with her son.  Everything looked ready!

The office "before."
Hardly anything more than an empty room.

The office "after."
Still need an office chair and a sofa bed and maybe a coffee table.
You get the bonus of seeing my Halloween monster silhouettes in the window too.
Some curtains would be nice too for color, but I'll wait for my mom to find
the steal of the century at her favorite resale shop.  She has a knack for finding $3 curtains.

Still waiting on my 1 replacement piece for shelf #5 when I took his photo.
Thankful it arrived on time for the reveal.
We technically have space for a 6th shelf, but we don't have the need right now
and things look better in odd numbers, so I kept it at 5 shelves.

Friday morning was supposed to bring surprise #2 -- a visit from my father-in-law.  But he cancelled his trip because he wasn't feeling well.  Instead, we spent the day finishing up school with the boys, hoping our replacement bookshelf piece would arrive (IT DID!!!), enjoyed dinner, watched a movie, put jammies on and then picked up Jay at the airport at 11pm.

I wondered if we could keep Jay out of his home office until his birthday on Monday (not that he'd have any reason to go in there anyway).  We successfully kept him out just by telling him is present was in there and I hadn't wrapped it yet -- which was true because the kids had small gifts for their dad that did indeed need wrapping.

Monday was Jay's first day in his new office on the North side of town.  It was a good busy day.  When he came home the kids gave him his birthday treasure hunt.  I found used copies of Star Wars I, II and III and each child gave him 1 DVD.  The last DVD was on his desk in his office, so he opened the door and saw his office -- the thing I busted my tail to complete while he was gone for 5 short days.

Now all we need is an office chair and a sofa sleeper in there so that clients can sit on the couch, yet the room can still be used for overnight guests if need be.  I may even bring in an old coffee table up there once we get a couch.

And now I'm beat!

Happy birthday, Jaybird!  Hope you liked all your surprises!

The Office

Last night I asked my Facebook friends to pray for a family decision we had to make in a very short amount of time.  I thank you for praying!

The decision regarded where my husband's new office would be located.

You may recall that after 17+ years in ministry my husband lost his last pastoral role just weeks before I went to China for our daughter.  Since our Nebraska house was sold and awaiting closing, we decided it best to let the sale continue so that we didn't have a mortgage over our heads while facing unemployment.  So, we hightailed it to Texas and moved into my mother-in-law's condo.

After a summer of searching for ministry work and coming up empty handed, we decided it best to leave ministry and start a new career in the marketplace in the financial sector.  My husband trained for months and then his firm suggested we set up shop in San Antonio, sharing an office with a seasoned investor while my husband set up his business and proved himself profitable.

Jay has done a great job and has worked hard to make his business a success.  He has won a prestigious award from the corporate office and he has outperformed many of his fellow classmates to date.  And he has now left "level new" and is officially "level one," and soon to be "level two," and is ready for an office of his own.

We recently decided to take a day trip to the Gulf of Mexico to see the Texas coastline.  But this trip was not purely for family fun.  There is a branch office down there that my husband could take over immediately.  We owed it to ourselves to check it out in order to make a fully informed decision.  We drove around the area for quite a while, looking at the town, the office and the neighborhoods before enjoying a couple hours of family time on the beach.  An office by The Gulf was certainly a possibility.

The beautiful Texas coastline.  So beautiful and inviting -- except for the jellyfish!

This week, while we hadn't made an official decision about the office location at the Gulf, another office here in San Antonio became available for immediate occupancy.  This office possibility isn't on our end of town and would be a 24 mile commute one way (and in SA rush hour traffic, it won't be pretty).  The office is also known to be in a high rent area, which could make building a successful business a bit tricky and difficult.

But having an office of his own would mean Jay would get the administrative support he needs to be truly successful, something he gets very little of currently and isn't in his own gift mix.

At the same time, my husband knows that this move has been the hardest move for me.  He knows I feel trapped in the LARGE state of Texas and I'd like to be back in the Midwest closer to family.  So, Jay also did some calling to see if there would be any offices available in the Minneapolis area where I have family and lots of college friends and one of my very best friends who I miss terribly.  Right now, there are no offices available for Jay in the Twin Cities, but it doesn't mean one might not open up eventually.

So, The Gulf, San Antonio or Minneapolis/St. Paul?  That was our question.  We had only 1 business day to make our decision about the San Antonio office.  That's why I sought after your diligent prayers.

Today we have decided to let go of the idea of the office by The Gulf and take the San Antonio office.  While it may be a risk, Jay and his associates think this will be a great boost for Jay's career.  At the same time, it does establish us in Texas all the more.  That's not to say we can never move away, but it would be difficult to leave an office behind and then start "from scratch" in a new locale should Minneapolis come calling.

Since the office is located at a different edge of town from where we live currently, we can think about relocating to that area in the next year or two.  Schools are very good in that area and we can consider sending the kids back to public school.  We also have some friends who live over in that area and my boys would have a good friend nearby.

Downtown San Antonio at night.

I'd be lying if I said that I'm not sad to say goodbye to the dream of moving back home.  I am sad.  That's all I have to say about that.

So, I thank you for your prayers.  I'd appreciate it if you'd continue to pray God's hand of blessing on Jay's career.  Please pray for more clients and more successes so that we can afford more van repairs and some home improvements so that we're ready for market whenever God leads us to move onward.

Thanks, friends!  I really appreciate my prayer warriors!  How can I pray for you?  Comments section is open and I won't "publish" your comments if your prayers are of a sensitive nature.  But I'm happy to pray for you!

Happy Birthday, Super C!!!

Ten years ago my first baby was born.

Ten.

T-E-N.

10

Double digits.

This is his story on his tenth birthday.  [In other words, grab a cup of coffee.  This story is a long and crazy and funny one.  But I want to document this for him.  It's his story, it's my story, it's our story.  And I love it.]

Late in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy I became pre-eclamptic.  My doctor prescribed fairly strict bed rest and weekly non-stress tests at the hospital in addition to weekly check-ups at my doctor's office.  I had been working full time at our home church, in the catering department and our church was coming up on a big anniversary so it was not the best time to leave work, but I had doctor's orders.  I left work the last week in August with stacks of trashy tabloid magazines that one of my dear friends put together for me for my down time as well as a stack of work related items I could work on from my bed at home.

My original due date was September 28, so it was to be nearly a month of bed rest.  

I laid on the couch for the first 2 weeks of bed rest, working on decorations for the church anniversary, watching daytime TV, and lots of Trading Spaces on cable.  At the permission of my OB/GYN we attended child birth classes at the hospital weekly.

On September 15 we had a scheduled non-stress test at the hospital, followed by a scheduled doctor's appointment in the late morning and our final childbirth class and celebration late that evening.  To add to our long day, we had a scheduled appointment for our dog to have his teeth cleaned at the vet's office.

For a non-stess test, the hospital requires the patient to first call the hospital OB floor to see if they have a bed available and nurses available to administer the test.   Before leaving to drop off the dog that morning, I called the hospital to see if they had room for me and they invited me to come by.  So Jay and I dropped the dog off at the vet's office and went to the hospital from there.  When we arrived, maybe 40 minutes after my original phone call, there were suddenly no beds available for me.  We were asked to wait or come back in the afternoon.

We killed some time and then we went across the road to our doctor's office for our scheduled appointment.  The appointment was standard, nothing unusual, no surprises.  Baby was still breech, which we had known all along and opted not to do a version (turning the baby) due to it's risks.  I was sent back home for more bed rest for another week, the doctor insisting that baby wasn't coming for quite a while.  From the parking lot of the doctor's office we called the hospital again to see if they had a bed available.  Again, they invited us over.  Hospital stop #2.

When we arrived not even 10 minutes later, they did have a bed available, but they didn't have a nurse available to monitor me and my baby.  We chose to wait it out in the waiting room since our home was nearly 30 minutes away.  Thankfully we didn't have to wait more than 15 minutes and I was in a bed, in a gown and strapped up to a fetal monitor.  An hour of monitoring later and the nurse surprised us by saying I had had 1 contraction during that time!  I didn't feel a thing.

Having not received a call from the vet that our dog was done with his procedure, we drove home, had lunch, watched a movie and then had dinner before our last childbirth class, all the while waiting to hear about our dog.  And throughout the day I felt my first contractions, very irregular, some strong but most were very tame.

We got the call from the vet late in the afternoon but we didn't see an easy way of picking him up, getting him back home and still making it on time to our class.  Our vet had 24-hour emergency services and offered us the ease of picking him up after our class that night.

With pillows in our arms, we went to class at 8pm that night.  Hospital trip #3, if you're counting.  We practiced our exercises for the first hour of class before a break at 9pm.  The class got exciting just following our break when one expecting mom and dad didn't return to class after our bathroom break.  Before class ended, the husband ran in to gather their belongings and announced that his wife's water had broken in the restroom during break time.  Excitement was in the air for sure!  After class was over at 10pm, another family went directly to the OB floor instead of going home.

For us, we walked out of the hospital talking about the excitement of 2 families' babies coming into the world.  Before I could hardly say much to my husband, we ran into our Senior Pastor as we walked out of the hospital.  For those of you who know us, we worked at Willow Creek in South Barrington, Illinois.  That's Bill Hybel's church, if that name rings a bell.  He's a pretty big guy in the Christian church world.   He recognized us and we stopped to chat, asking what he was doing at the hospital at nearly 10:30 at night.  He told us he was visiting his sister and we talked briefly.  The funny thing that makes us chuckle is that Bill then asked us what we were doing at the hospital.  Um... BIG pregnant wife, BIG fluffy pillows... seemed kind of obvious to us.  But we just smiled politely and told him that we had our last childbirth class and were on our way back home.  With that, we said goodbye, gave our best to Bill's sister who we knew well as I had shared an office with her for a year, and we were on our way to pick up our dog and head home for the night.

In the parking lot of the hospital I confessed to Jay that during class my contractions became extremely regular, like clockwork, 12 minutes apart.  We knew from class that the hospital wouldn't admit us until contractions were closer to 5 minutes apart.  Jay joked that we'd be back in to the hospital for a 4th trip in a matter of hours.  I grinned and agreed.

We picked up our dog, our glassy-eyed, drugged from his teeth cleaning/pulling dog and picked up his pain meds and drove home.  Of course, I had my hospital overnight bag packed already, but I threw my toothbrush, hairbrush and cosmetics into my make-up bag before going to bed.

Yes, with contractions 12 minutes apart, yes, I went to bed, people!  That surprises most folks.  And their surprise makes me laugh.

Around 5 in the morning my husband's groggy, half asleep voice woke me up.

"Hon, do we need to call the doctor?"

I wondered why he was asking me that.  I had been fast asleep!  Why on earth would he wake me up and why would I need to call the doctor?  Then I realized I was biting the pillow and had obviously been having contractions in my sleep and probably making some noise.  I watched the clock like a hawk and 2 contractions came right on queue, each 5 minutes apart.  I called and woke up my doctor.  She waited on the phone with me for another contraction to come, which it did right on schedule 5 minutes later and then we were off to the hospital.  Trip #4 in less than 24 hours!

It was still dark in the morning as we drove along the heavily wooded Algonquin Road and I was doing my breathing exercises learned in the childbirth class.  My husband loves to laugh that in the middle of contractions and breathing exercises, I was spotting deer.

"Hoo, hoo, hoo, hee.  Hoo, hoo, there's a deer, hee!  Hoo, hoo, there's another one, hee!"

He may make fun of me mercilessly for it, but really, as if we really needed to hit a deer on the way to the hospital at that very moment.  Seriously!

We checked in at the ER and were wheeled upstairs to the OB floor, only it seemed all the rooms were taken.  You'd think it was a small hospital, but no.  No room for me and by this time my contractions were coming 2 minutes apart and I was nauseous.  I was screaming in my head for a bed and an emesis basin instead of being parked at an empty nurse's station.

Finally in my own room maybe 20 minutes later, in a bed, an IV hooked up to my arm and a portable sonogram confirmed baby had not yet changed it's breech position and I'd be having a c-section.  The odd thing about the sonogram was that my husband read the results, not the technician!  One of baby's legs was in the usual bent, fetal position but the other leg was flexed at the hip, completely straight like in the pike position, baby's foot being right up by the ear!  The technician said, "What are we looking at here?"  And it was my husband who had said, "That looks like a foot to me!"  He was right.  It was a foot right up smack next to the ear.  Quite odd.

I was given meds to stop the contractions while I waited for my surgery.  I called my mom and she ran into her office to leave a note for her boss and she headed to the hospital to join us.  The doctor arrived and was ready to take me back but then another laboring mom needed an emergency c-section and took my OR.  More meds for me and more waiting.

Once in the OR I was introduced to the all those assisting the surgery.  They turned music on and I was given my spinal block.  And before I knew it, at 8:45am, my baby was born.

"It's a boy!" [We never found out during the pregnancy what we were having.  Too few awesome surprises in life, in my opinion.]

7 pounds 7.5 ounces and 19 inches long.  [For the record, a few days later at the pediatrician's office, my boy was 21 inches long.  His measurement in the hospital wasn't accurate as breech babies are difficult to stretch out after birth.  So, the pediatrician counted him as 21 inches long at birth, not 19.]

While our boy was being cleaned up, we were immediately asked what his name was.  Problem.  We had one girl's name chosen and 3, that's THREE boys names chosen and hadn't yet decided.  Jay asked me if I wanted to see our son before choosing his name.  Minutes went by.  Minutes.

Thankfully, I was too tired, too excited, too shocked that it was a boy, and too new at all this childbirth and c-section stuff to realize that my boy hadn't come of out screaming his head off.  Maybe I wasn't freaking out because my mom told me how my brother didn't make a sound either when he was born; he just opened his eyes and looked around.  But I hadn't even seen my son.  They didn't hold him up to me after they pulled him out as I laid on the table.  Then I heard the words from my anesthesiologist, "Don't worry.  Sometimes it takes awhile for them to get suctioned out before they start crying," and I started to panic in my head realizing how much time had gone by.  Before I could verbalize my fear or even shed a tear, he cried.  Oh, joyous sound!  My baby boy announced his arrival to the world loud and clear.  Tears, this time from mommy.

Then it was back to the name.  The doctors and nurses were pestering us for the name.  Jay asked me again, "Is it 'Super C' (a name we both equally liked - sorry, I keep my kids names off of the blog so you have to live with Super C if you don't know us personally), Carter (his choice), or Chad (my choice)?" [Nothing special with all names happening to begin with C.  We just liked all those names and it was a mere coincidence they all started with the same letter.]  He paused as we smiled and listened to our son scream.  "Do you want to see him first before picking a name?" he asked.

"No," I said through tears, shaking my head.  "I know that voice.  That's 'Super C.'"

We had a name.  A name that was our third choice all along at that, but I just knew that voice.  I knew him.  I knew my son.  The middle name we knew all along and that was no debate.

Then I saw him.  Whoa.  I felt like I was looking into a mirror or at least one of my own baby pictures.  He was certainly my son complete with dark, dark brown hair, slanted eyes and fair skin.

As I was being closed, our bundled baby was taken to the nursery for more evaluation (his original Apgar score was a 4 out of 10, but I didn't know it at the time).  Jay was at his side all the time, allowing our hungry son to suck on his finger until they could get him to me.  It was the only thing that calmed him down for over an hour.

I was wheeled back to my room where my mom was waiting.  I told her she had a grandson.  She left me to go see her grandson in the nursery window where Jay was quick to point out through mime behind the nursery glass, that our son had his ears.  Ha.

Turns out that that particular night/morning there was a record number of births at the hospital and nearly all were boys!

But I had the best one of all.

My baby on the day he was born.  September 16, 2003.

Today he's a Lego-loving, swimming, cooking, helpful, kind, smart (too smart), sensitive, goofy 5th grade boy.  His favorite color is red.  His favorite book is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  He even loves to read this blog!  His favorite school subject is science.  His favorite TV show is Lego Ninjago.  He loves animals.  He really wants a bird.  He'd like to go to Japan to see where mommy lived in college.  He'd like to be a veterinarian or a chef or a video game designer when he grows up.  His favorite sport is swimming.  He loves the Olympics.  He loves tubing up at Aunt Patty's lake house with his cousins.  He loves Sea World, particularly the Journey to Atlantis water ride.  He loves God.  He's a great big brother.  He's my first baby.

I'm proud to be his mom.  

And I love him more than he'll ever know!

Super C today on his 10th birthday.

Happy 10th birthday, Super C!  

She's Not Lucky

Many well meaning, sweet people comment on how lucky adopted kids are to come home to new families.  We've heard this ourselves a few times.  For the most part, I smile, I say we're the lucky ones, and I'm on my way, fully understanding that the person really meant well.  I get it.  The kids are lucky at a second chance at love and life, lucky to be home, lucky to have a future.  I understand it.  I'm not bitter about people saying how lucky she is at all because it was meant as a compliment.  It doesn't ruffle my feathers.

But the truth is, friends, there is nothing lucky about adoption.

Three years ago today my daughter was found at the gate of the orphanage in Yulin, China.  

Three years ago today she lost her mom, her dad, her family, her home.  

Three years ago today she lost good nutrition (her dental exams prove it) and a proper standard of care that she had received from her birth mom for the first seven or so weeks of her life.  

Three years ago today she lost 

everything.  

And that's not lucky.  

My daughter's finding spot.  The entrance to the orphanage.

My daughter's intake photo at the orphanage.
Either the day she was found or within days thereof.

Here's the kicker: my Quiet Tiger remembers it.  No, she can't verbalize it, but her brain recalls that traumatic day.  Medical studies prove that children do recall the traumatic events of their lives and we read about it in our required adoption training.

The past number of months since her 3rd birthday have been really hard in our household.

My daughter refuses to potty train.  She'll have a good day free of accidents and full of excitement, treats and stickers, followed by a day that is accident after accident after accident because she flat out refuses to go on the potty and doesn't give a rip if she's wearing wet or filthy dirty underpants.  Ew.  I've given up because I can't take it anymore.  I worked with her for week after week after week all summer long.  I'm exhausted.  She's wearing diapers again and perhaps we'll try again before Christmas.  I need a good LONG break.

Her food issues have reared up their ugly head and my daughter has returned to screaming hysterical fits when I remove her from the kitchen table after a meal.  She'll stare at me with a distant, blank, wondering look on her face as I'm cooking in the kitchen, making sure that there is enough for her.  She'll eat as much as her 9 year old brother and still cry for more.  She'll eat spilled food off the floor.  She'll cry if I so much as eat one Cheez-It cracker without offering her one.  She scarfs down all her meals in record time again, often finishing an entire plate of food in less than 5 minutes while the rest of us have hardly touched our food.

She screams something HORRIBLE at church when we try to check her into the nursery.  It's beyond normal toddler screaming.  This is off the charts.  I actually heard her through the walls, closed door with worship music in full swing as Jay tried to check her in a couple weeks ago.  She's that loud, that hysterical.

This girl has broken toys, thrown toys.  She hits, she kicks, both people and the dog.  She screams at every little thing.

At first I thought it typical 3 year old behavior (not the food issues obviously).  But then she woke up one morning COVERED in hives and she hadn't been in the pool at all (we always thought the hives were a chlorine allergy).  She's acting out the blanket thing again too.

So, food, hives and blanket issues were the dead giveaway.  

She remembers.

She is not happy.  She is angry.  

She is recalling her past and is acting out.

This regression has been the longest.  It's hard to love her through this.  The boys get easily annoyed by her and will often say, "Here she goes again," when she throws a fit.  They don't really want to play with her either because she has broken many of their toys or will scream at them if she doesn't get her way.  My husband gives her his very best when he gets home from work, but once she starts screaming for one reason or another, it gets hard on him too.  At the end of the day I'm ready to collapse into my pillow and cry my eyes out, only I can't sleep because I've had no down time to myself, so I'm often up 'til midnight enjoying the QUIET and waiting for sleep to come.

No, she's not lucky.

Adoption is loss FIRST.  

And that loss is TRAUMATIC.  

I would really appreciate your prayers for an end to this current regression and that my daughter would be able to be free from her traumatic past.

Pray for her healing!

My Quiet Tiger today.