We are at the tail end of Influenza A in our household.
As surprising as this sounds, for 6 years now, we've had 1 bout of stomach flu and minor coughs and colds from our daughter. Nothing major like last week! We like to call it Orphanage Immunity. And friends, it was eye opening for this RAD mom.
I received a call from the school on a Wednesday saying Quiet Tiger had a fever and I had to go pick her up. I was on my way to a client's house to let their dog out and couldn't reschedule, so she had to wait for me in the nurse's office for about 40 minutes. The fever was 102 and we immediately went home for the Tylenol.
Day two and the fever spiked to 104 and QT said she had a sore throat. I immediately thought: strep!
Day three and the fever was down to 101 and falling, so I didn't take her in. She was feeling better.
Day four and she was fever free! I thought our return to school would be right around the corner.
But day 5 and the fever was back up to 102, so I took her into the clinic where she tested positive for Flu A. There was nothing to do but ride out the virus. Yet I did get that all important note from the doctor so the school wouldn't get on my case about her missing so much school.
The fever yo yo-ed back and forth over the next week. Sore throat, congestion and a nasty cough were also in the mix. She was miserable and I don't blame her one bit!
Here's where the RAD really played in. She got mad at me with every medication I gave her. I get it. They don't taste good. And she felt horrible, so I just dealt with her anger. Then at the clinic, she glared at me over the swab tests for the flu and strep. Those aren't fun either and she'd never experienced anything like that before. I just told her she was safe and that I trusted the doctor to know what she was doing.
Where I had the biggest issue by far was at night when I tried to put her in a hot, steamy bath to help alleviate the cough and congestion for just a little while before bed. She normally loves the bath. But this time she screamed bloody murder at me. Rage! Pure rage! She insisted the water was too hot, despite me testing it repeatedly. She refused to hold a hot, steamy washcloth up to her face and breathe through it. Absolute refusal. She never did sit in the tub. She did the Asian squat. And she only used the washcloth for about 2 minutes. After that the raging stopped too and the bath did help her breathe, but what a mess is caused.
When a lot of us feel lousy, we want mom. Moms make everything better.
Not for a RAD kid. I saw nothing but 200% distrust in me that night.
I tell you, it makes a RAD mom feel empty, unable to offer any comfort to my child.
I'm just glad she's past the fever and now just trying to beat the cough and congestion.
Saturday, March 16, 2019
Wednesday, March 6, 2019
RAD Travel
We just got back from a week long stay in St. Lucia. My husband earned the trip through work and we made it a family vacation, taking all 3 kids and my mom and step-dad as well.
Now, before you start thinking that I'm whining or complaining about spending a week on a tropical island in the middle of the Caribbean in February, that's not it. Not at all. We had a good time and it was a blessing. I know full well that my prayer warriors were storming Heaven's Gates with cries out to God on our behalf. Our week away could have been so much worse, and I only attribute our lack of disaster to those very prayers that were heard by our very gracious God.
But traveling with a RAD child isn't for the faint of heart. And that's what this post is all about.
Air Travel
UGH! My girl could not sit and do just one thing on the airplane. I packed 3 things to keep her occupied. Not too many to overwhelm her, just enough to do something for a while, then switch after a while. Nope. I should have taken video, friends. My daughter may have sat still in her plane seat, but gosh, she couldn't concentrate on 1 thing for more than 10 minutes. Watching her was exhausting. She'd take out her dot-to-dot book, work on it for 5 minutes, then put it away. After that it was onto the in-flight games that come free on the screen on the back of the seat in front of her. Even that didn't hold her attention for longer than 10 minutes. She loves to read, yet she couldn't sit and read the Beverly Cleary book I packed for her. Even a movie on the screen didn't entertain her. She played and fidgeted with the screen, bouncing back and forth between movies, TV shows and music. Even when told to pick one thing and leave it, she couldn't.
I think I need to have her tested for ADD. Seriously.
Fun Times = Scary Times
Don't mistake my girl's seemingly fun time as just that. In fact, having that kind of fun overwhelms her. It scares her and she takes control into her own hands. On the first night there she pooped in her pants and told no one. I didn't even know it until the next morning when I found the poop covered underpants hidden in her suitcase filled with clean clothes. I wanted to catch the next plane out of there and go to my OWN tropical island and leave my family behind. I didn't tell anyone what she did, not even my husband. I couldn't let his earned trip be ruined. So, I dealt with it solo and tried to mask my frustration and anger with fake smiles. But less than 24 hours there and I was done.
On day 3 we had a company dinner. Again, my daughter was having fun with new friends she made on the trip, but that fun spiraled out of control. As she was running around, I noticed that the back of her skorts was wet. She didn't sit in anything. She wet her pants. Again, the feeling of having fun with friends made her feel out of control, so she took control into her own hands and wet herself. Had I not noticed, she would have gone on playing in wet pants all night. But instead, I grabbed her by her wrist and dragged her back to our room where I made her get in the tub and wash her clothes and herself. At home, she would have raged at me for making her clean her clothes. At the resort, she just did it with only a little whining.
On the last night's celebration dinner, again, after a firm reminder that there were bathrooms right near the restaurant and wetting and pooping herself were not acceptable, I found her pants rather damp. She had started to wet herself again, but she did stop. So, that was progress. A step in the right direction. I guess. But what mom has to remind her 8 year old child to stop wetting and pooping herself? A RAD mom, that's who.
The Aftermath
But re-entry has been pretty ugly. At school early this week, oh did she pull a few numbers! I received a call from the school on Tuesday that my daughter didn't have a lunch. They asked me if they should feed her from the cafeteria line. Um, no, that account had been long since closed because of food-related issues. Turns out, the girl ate her ENTIRE LUNCH on the bus immediately after eating a FULL BREAKFAST at home just minutes before getting on said bus. She had to have been stuffed to the gills! When she came home, she absolutely refused to fess up and tell me what happened.
In the midst of dealing with that, I received an email from the teacher asking me what she wants me to tell QT's classmates about her changing schools in two weeks. EXCUSE ME???? This was a new one. Seems the girl had told all her friends that in 2 weeks she is switching schools. Not a chance. I assured the teacher, who had fully believed the lies, that we have no intention of pulling her from the school whatsoever. She, in turn, had to go ease the minds of QT's friends who were sad to hear that she'd be leaving. Good gosh.
At home, I've had a raging, maniacally laughing, out of control child.
This will be her last trip for quite some time!
Now, before you start thinking that I'm whining or complaining about spending a week on a tropical island in the middle of the Caribbean in February, that's not it. Not at all. We had a good time and it was a blessing. I know full well that my prayer warriors were storming Heaven's Gates with cries out to God on our behalf. Our week away could have been so much worse, and I only attribute our lack of disaster to those very prayers that were heard by our very gracious God.
But traveling with a RAD child isn't for the faint of heart. And that's what this post is all about.
Air Travel
UGH! My girl could not sit and do just one thing on the airplane. I packed 3 things to keep her occupied. Not too many to overwhelm her, just enough to do something for a while, then switch after a while. Nope. I should have taken video, friends. My daughter may have sat still in her plane seat, but gosh, she couldn't concentrate on 1 thing for more than 10 minutes. Watching her was exhausting. She'd take out her dot-to-dot book, work on it for 5 minutes, then put it away. After that it was onto the in-flight games that come free on the screen on the back of the seat in front of her. Even that didn't hold her attention for longer than 10 minutes. She loves to read, yet she couldn't sit and read the Beverly Cleary book I packed for her. Even a movie on the screen didn't entertain her. She played and fidgeted with the screen, bouncing back and forth between movies, TV shows and music. Even when told to pick one thing and leave it, she couldn't.
I think I need to have her tested for ADD. Seriously.
Fun Times = Scary Times
Don't mistake my girl's seemingly fun time as just that. In fact, having that kind of fun overwhelms her. It scares her and she takes control into her own hands. On the first night there she pooped in her pants and told no one. I didn't even know it until the next morning when I found the poop covered underpants hidden in her suitcase filled with clean clothes. I wanted to catch the next plane out of there and go to my OWN tropical island and leave my family behind. I didn't tell anyone what she did, not even my husband. I couldn't let his earned trip be ruined. So, I dealt with it solo and tried to mask my frustration and anger with fake smiles. But less than 24 hours there and I was done.
On day 3 we had a company dinner. Again, my daughter was having fun with new friends she made on the trip, but that fun spiraled out of control. As she was running around, I noticed that the back of her skorts was wet. She didn't sit in anything. She wet her pants. Again, the feeling of having fun with friends made her feel out of control, so she took control into her own hands and wet herself. Had I not noticed, she would have gone on playing in wet pants all night. But instead, I grabbed her by her wrist and dragged her back to our room where I made her get in the tub and wash her clothes and herself. At home, she would have raged at me for making her clean her clothes. At the resort, she just did it with only a little whining.
On the last night's celebration dinner, again, after a firm reminder that there were bathrooms right near the restaurant and wetting and pooping herself were not acceptable, I found her pants rather damp. She had started to wet herself again, but she did stop. So, that was progress. A step in the right direction. I guess. But what mom has to remind her 8 year old child to stop wetting and pooping herself? A RAD mom, that's who.
The Aftermath
But re-entry has been pretty ugly. At school early this week, oh did she pull a few numbers! I received a call from the school on Tuesday that my daughter didn't have a lunch. They asked me if they should feed her from the cafeteria line. Um, no, that account had been long since closed because of food-related issues. Turns out, the girl ate her ENTIRE LUNCH on the bus immediately after eating a FULL BREAKFAST at home just minutes before getting on said bus. She had to have been stuffed to the gills! When she came home, she absolutely refused to fess up and tell me what happened.
In the midst of dealing with that, I received an email from the teacher asking me what she wants me to tell QT's classmates about her changing schools in two weeks. EXCUSE ME???? This was a new one. Seems the girl had told all her friends that in 2 weeks she is switching schools. Not a chance. I assured the teacher, who had fully believed the lies, that we have no intention of pulling her from the school whatsoever. She, in turn, had to go ease the minds of QT's friends who were sad to hear that she'd be leaving. Good gosh.
At home, I've had a raging, maniacally laughing, out of control child.
This will be her last trip for quite some time!
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