Our church did a FANTASTIC message at the end of October regarding adoption. I'm thrilled that I'm finally a part of a church that is living out James 1:27 in so many ways. If you haven't listened to it or watched the video, please go here and look up the message: Standing up for Children 10/28/2013. [Note: Once you're on the website, you may have to click on the "Archives" tab and then select the series "Fit to Fight for your Family" and then you'll see the message titles.] It's 35 minutes long, you can watch the video or listen to the audio version. The second half of the message deals with adoption and it's simply spot on. It's a "can't-miss" message.
If you don't have time for a church message, let me outline the ways you can help orphans. I'll keep my points in line with what they said in church, but I'll expand it from my personal point of view as an adoptive parent.
1. Adoption vs. Abortion
Not all people and not all churches behave well when a woman is faced with an unexpected pregnancy. I could have jumped out of my seat with joy when I heard our pastor say that our church would be a support and source of encouragement for those facing unexpected pregnancies. Our church will not shun someone facing an unexpected pregnancy. All churches need to offer grace just like this. If you're not a part of a church like this one, find one! Find people who will support the decision to choose life. Get involved with a local church or organization that helps pregnant moms in their time of need.
If you know someone who is faced with an unexpected pregnancy, walk along side them. Assure them that although 9 long months of pregnancy will not be easy or comfortable, there are many families out there who want to adopt newborn babies! Be a voice for that baby and a loving support for the birth mom! No matter what the circumstance, be Jesus to that woman.
And I'll go so far as to say that if you know someone who terminated a pregnancy in the past, do not shun them either. Offer grace. Period.
2. Support Christian Orphanages
Orphanages worldwide need support. With over 147 million orphans on this planet, it is up to us to make sure those children receive the basic care that they need. Our church supports many orphanages. I know of other churches supporting more. Ask your church to start supporting orphanages. If you don't know how to give directly to an orphanage, leave me a comment below and I will connect you with our church.
In addition to supporting orphanages, here are some of my personal thoughts on supporting other orphan-realted agencies. Here are some of my favorite organizations:
- LifeSong for Orphans is a Christian organization that gave us a $5,000 interest-free adoption loan to bring our daughter home. The money we pay back goes to help another child come home, so on and so forth. We are still paying off our loan. You can simply give a financial gift to LifeSong or you can purchase some of their products, all proceeds going to help orphans worldwide. Your donations to LifeSong are tax deductible if you're looking for some holiday giving.
- Help Us Adopt is another organization that gave us a $4,000 adoption grant to help us bring our daughter home. We couldn't have done it without them and we are very grateful for their donors who made our adoption possible.
- ShowHope. This is Stephen Curtis Chapman's ministry. It's phenomenal and I have friends who have adopted ShowHope kids. ShowHope is now linking with 6 (I think) US churches, ours being one of them. They simply want kids in forever families and they don't want anything, especially money, standing in the way.
- Love Without Boundaries. I love this organization. They provided us with so much information on special needs adoptions when we first started out in our process. I cannot say enough about them. You can look at photos of children needing your help right now and sponsor a child through them.
- Half the Sky. An organization serving the kids in China's orphanages. I have friends who have adopted children through this program.
Give to an adopting family. Countless adoptive families have heard the phrase, "If you can't afford adoption, don't do it." We had people admit they were angry at our support letters during our adoption and were offended that we asked for financial help. How sad that people just don't understand what the orphan means to Jesus. And even if a person isn't a Christ follower, it's so awful to think that someone can turn against a child in need.
I simply cannot thank our donors enough. It took nearly 40 families to bring our daughter home and I have all of their names written down as a record for my daughter to see who it took to bring her home -- who lived out James 1:27 in a very personal, tangible way. Does $5 make a difference? YOU BET IT DOES! We had 1 gal in Nebraska who was on a very fixed income and honestly could have used a few extra bucks herself each month. Instead, when some extra cash came her way, she gave it to us, month after month after month. Talk about humbling! Sometimes it was $5 and sometimes it was $10. And every single penny went towards my Quiet Tiger's adoption fees and I'm willing to show you our bank account to prove it.
Don't know anyone adopting currently? I DO! I know plenty of friends (and not just Facebook friends) adopting right now and some of them have no idea where the funds are going to come from but are trusting God every step of the way to provide. Please ask me and I will put you in touch with an adopting family immediately!!! Even $5 makes a difference!
3. Mentor a child or family in need.
When we were in California for that one brief year I saw the brokenness of the American family. Some of my son's third and fourth grade classmates came from broken homes. I cannot tell you how heartbroken I became at the parent open house when kids in my son's classroom looked at my family, a mom and a dad (and our youngest son too), who came and encouraged our oldest son in his classwork. One boy lowered his head and whispered to himself, "I wish I had a family here." Heartbreaking. We need to support kids in need in our own communities.
I'm going to say one more thing here regarding helping families in need. If you know someone who is a foster parent or an adoptive parent, support them! This is NOT easy business, people! Another blogging adoptive family recently wrote, "They are not all of a sudden okay just because they are home." Oh friends, that is so very, very true! Recently, a friend on a private Facebook adoption group posted the struggles she is still having with her son home from China for over a year. I cannot tell you how many of us responded, myself included, saying, "Same here! You're not alone!"
Support families post-foster and post-adoption. Bring them dinner. Offer them nights out so they can get away and recharge without the kids. Babysit their kids so they can go out birthday shopping or Christmas shopping. Ask if you can come over to simply chat after kids are in bed. Bring tissues. Bring a punching bag. Bring pillows to scream into. Bring listening ears, an open heart and keep judgements to yourself. We need your support even after the kids have long since come home.
4. Become a foster parent.
Jay's parents were foster parents. Jay's brother Ron came from the foster care program. There are over 424,000 children in foster care right now in the US. If the church would rise up and act, we could give a home to every one of those kids in need. I met a girl here in San Antonio this summer who was a former foster child. Yes, she was bounced around from home to home to home, but she was so grateful and appreciative for all the families that showed her love and gave her the care and support she needed. You can make a difference in the life of a child by opening your home for a period of time. Yes, there are hoops to jump through to become a registered foster parent, there are interviews, background checks, fingerprints and homestudies. Is a child in need worth jumping through a few hoops? Give a child a chance for hope and a future!
5. Adopt.
I know not everyone can adopt. That's why we have numbers 1-4 above. But think about it. Do you have extra room in your home? Do you have extra food in your pantry? Do you have extra love in your heart?
No excuses here folks.
DO NOT let money, or the lack thereof, stop you from adoption. My husband was working at a non-denominational church and I was a stay-at-home mom when we started our process. Do you really think we had $40,000 cash laying around to adopt (Nepal was pricier than China)? No. No, we didn't. We didn't even have half that or a quarter of that amount. All we had in savings was our 2 months salary emergency fund. That's it. And we used it! We had to take a GIANT leap of faith and trust God to provide. And provide He did, every step of the way. Each time I had to pay an adoption related fee the money was there. Yes, I had to work for it. I put on garage sales, I babysat in my home, I was a wedding coordinator at our church, I worked in our childcare at church, we sent support letters, we held fundraisers, and when we knew someone personally with financial means, we had to ask for help and that wasn't easy. When all hell broke loose during our adoption (the evil one trying to thwart God's plans), God was always right there. And He won!!!
I know not worring about the money thing is easier said than done. After all, if I had $30,000 laying around right now, I'd be jumping back into China adoption to bring a child about to age-out home and into our family forever. But for us it's more than the money right now. I'm holding off for my Quiet Tiger right now. She still needs this time to adjust and we're still in healing mode after all we've been through (future blog post coming). I don't know if God will lead us toward adoption again, but I'm saving what we can now in case He does call us again so I can be prepared. And all the while, I'm giving $10 here, $20 there to help friends with their adoptions.
And it goes even further than offering money. During an adoption, things go wrong. Washers and dryers break. Cars break down. Lawn mowers die. Life happens. Maybe you're a handy person who can help fix things when they break down and do the job for an adopting friend for free, or for a nominal fee. Maybe you cut hair and can offer an adopting family free haircuts for their family. Maybe you can bring groceries to an adoptive family just as a way of eliminating some of the everyday expenses, so they can put more towards their adoption. We had friends fix our lawnmower and our a/c and another friend fixed our car in his driveway for a very small fee. Get creative and get out there and help in any way you can!
DO NOT let our adoption story scare you. Hopefully our story shows God's faithfulness through trial after trial after trial. But believe me, of my many adoption friends, most did not have the horrid struggles we had. Most people "sail" through their adoptions with few obstacles in their way. Most of my friends just couldn't believe all we had to endure. And of my Christian friends, all agreed that God was up to something BIG if all those attacks were happening to our family in the midst of our adoption. God clearly won the battle and our daughter is home and we are still standing.
DO NOT let anyone stand in your way. Maybe your family thinks you're crazy for considering adoption. Do you think people thought it crazy when Noah was building the ark? Do you think Peter thought it crazy when Jesus told him to walk on the water? Didn't Judas think it crazy when Mary poured out her expensive perfume on Jesus' feet? Yes, yes and yes. There are too many stories in the Bible about crazy things people did for God. Was God different then? Is he different now? No. No way. He is the same today as He was yesterday. In our ever-changing world, He is the one constant we have. God calls us to do crazy things for Him and it's up to us to respond. You're not crazy for wanting to help the orphans in our world! The Bible is clear on the subject.
I know this is a long post. And I'll end with one last thing. Take some time to pray about it and ask God how He wants you to serve His children in need. He will answer you because He doesn't want you to ignore them. Will you join me? Even today I'm still praying this simple prayer:
"Dear God,
Please show me how You want me to care for the orphan.
AMEN!"
Please show me how You want me to care for the orphan.
AMEN!"
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| Just look at what love can do! |
